Thursday, September 27, 2012

First Things First . . . What Kind of Wedding?

Shortly after our engagement (okay, a little before), the groom and I started tossing out ideas about the type of wedding we want.  For us, this was a simple process.  Neither one of us are keen on the large, center of attention bashes nor are we the type to dance the night away.  So, that pretty much eliminated the dinner and dance type for the small, informal wedding.

While visiting family in the States, Mike and I opted to do a little venue shopping (with the help of his mother and aunt).  On our plane ride to Boise, we drafted a list of what we would like to see in/at/for our wedding.  This list looked a bit like this:
  • Sunrise/Early morning ceremony
  • Pancake reception
  • DIY/Recycle/Reuse theme
  • Rustic/vintage 
  • Tea green? Cream? 
  • Simple, low-key, informal
  • Outdoor, if possible
  • All inclusive, if possible
  • Ceremony in a venue, not a church
  • Something that doesn't take a lot of decoration
  • Ideally, ceremony & reception together 
There were a few things that jumped out as definites for us, including:

1) Ceremony & Reception in Idaho
While the two of us are currently residing in Vancouver, BC, most of the groom's family live in Idaho.  Rather than make it an international destination wedding for everyone, we decided that a wedding in the Gem State would be a "gem" of an idea.

2) Morning Ceremony & Pancake Reception
Mornings are our favorite time of day.  Every weekend, we make pancakes with a homemade fruit compote and a bunch of random toppings.  This is a special tradition and one that means a lot to us.  We want to share this "sweet start" with family and as our first feast as man and wife.

3) Outdoors
The two of us met on a dragonboat and the outdoors has special meaning to both of us, individually and as a couple. 
4) Easy to No Decorations
One of our biggest restraints is that we are coordinating our "destination" wedding from our Canadian home.  We wanted something that was relatively easy to decorate ourselves (hence the DIY theme) and would be managable from another country.

Our list helped us narrow down our list of venues, lock in our vision of the wedding and prepared us to share our concept with the various vendors, property owners and coordinators.
What We Learned and Some Helpful Tips:
As recommended on every blog, forum, wedding website and free bridal booklet vendors give you, the first thing that needs to be decided after the "Oh my goodness, yes!" moment is what kind of wedding.

From church services to waterfront vows to destination weddings at a lodge, there are thousands of options, ideas or opinions on what could be done, should be done and ought to be done.  The best way to focus on what you want and what is true to your personality is to . . . make a list.

I know . . . everyone and their lists. But this will save you time and effort for you will know what it is you are looking for in a ceremony site, reception location, caterer and the style of decorations.  

While making the lists, use this time to think big, dream and collaborate.  Communicate what each of you want to see in the wedding or what is "absolute must."  Share your visions and discuss the things that would make your wedding day the Dream Day. 

Throw out ideas and put them down on a piece of paper or a shared Google document.  Then, step away from it for a couple of days.  Let the ideas sink in or transition into another great idea.  If another one occurs, right it down. 
Then the two of you should take some time, prioritize what you want, need and can't live without.  This will help you as you progress through the planning phases including setting up a budget.  

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Why DIY?

So, why a DIY wedding?   In short, do-it-yourself weddings bring the focus back on the soon-to-be just married couple and they tend to be a bit more personalized.

For those who would like the slightly longer version:

It's YOUR Day -- Reclaim It

"Too much of weddings is focused on the guests."
"That's not what it's about. It's your day. You do what you want. We'll follow."

The above words of wisdom was uttered by my little sister and mother during a conversation on my upcoming wedding.  While I didn't necessary mention any frustrations, it sounded like the women in the family were tapped into my struggles and hit upon a very important train of thought.

Whether economy or the ever-changing shift in trends, many brides are looking for ways to make their wedding more memorable and less bank account draining.  They are opting for the DIY or even paring down the budget-busting bash for a more simple, yet still spectacular, moment to be shared with friends and family.

This is not merely a shift from large parties to smaller gatherings.  It is a shift in focus from what brides feel they have to do or provide for wedding guests and more about what they want to share on their big day.

However, this isn't the only reason why my husband-to-be and I chose to march down the DIY wedding aisle together.

It's My Wedding Day and I'll Personalize How I Want To

Around the time my man proposed to me, I stumbled upon a video produced by the fine folks at The Onion.  In this video, there was a bride and groom gushing about how their wedding was going to be unique and show their personalities.  At one point they mentioned having a bluegrass band play 80s music because the groom was fond of the bluegrass sound but the bride was infatuated with the 80s.  They even presented the idea of "sprinklers" as a unique, specialized element to their personalized wedding.

It was funny for it is every wedding.  It's sad for it is every wedding. 

While browsing venues online and then in person, the two of us were shown wedding pictures and sample venue set-up photos.  While the colors of the pomanders or chair sashes changed, it felt like we were seeing the same decor stuck on repeat. I was starting to wonder how many times this person with the same wedding scheme had been married.  It was the same wedding at six different venues -- just maybe the color scheme had changed.

While this sounds like a hundrum wedding, it wasn't what really put a thorn in my side.  It was the fact that most of those sashes, hanging paper lanterns, runners and even centerpieces had been used by numerous brides -- and they were charged top dollar for these reused decorations and recycled themes.   To me, that is not getting the more bang for your buck.

I believe some of the most memorable weddings were those that were comprised of important elements of the bride and groom -- a mutual blend of their personalities and the life they are embarking on.

Our decision to do a DIY wedding wasn't exactly budget, although it played a huge role in it for by nature I am budget-conscious, nor was it because the groom and I are beyond crafty -- far from it.  It was an effort to inject our unique lifestyle and personality into our day rather than passing it off onto a professional who will just apply a "tried and true" style to OUR wedding*. 

Will it be original? Eh, probably not.  It will probably be ideas that were hatched by someone else but modified, tweaked and renovated by us.  We will pick and choose what we want, expand upon some ideas and possibly even Easy-Bake our own innovative ideas.  It will be a slow-going process but one we are excited about.

Is going with the "Acme" wedding bad? No. It has a purpose. Whether you are short on time or would rather focus on other aspects, hiring professionals is an excellent way to go.   

While we may be making up for our lack of pristine elegance with creativity and personalization, it will be a reflection of us -- and thus, memorable.

*Note: I said OUR. The groom has jumped in full-speed, developed ideas and has picked up an Xacto to help slice and dice our STD envelopes.  This is a joint-endeavor -- as both of us believe it should be.