DIY: Wedding Table Runners

Photo Courtesy: Project Wedding

"Runners" was one of those words I had to research as to what their purpose for a wedding was and then determine if it was something we needed to add to our list of to-dos.

In short, a table runner is a long, narrow piece of fabric that runs the length of the table in the center.  They add a bit of style to the table and add to the definition of the theme by incorporating the wedding colors.  Often, the fabric is organza, tulle, burlap or satin.  More often than not, they are pops of colors against a white or another solid-colored tablecloth.

A new trend in this table decor is to use common household items like wood, lace, doilies or even pages from books glued together for the runner.

Mike and I decided to use the tables and tablecloths provided by the venue, which means all white tables.  The idea of a pop of color here and there appeal to us, but we were not fans of the "solid color trends".   So, we decided to pick our own fabric and make the table runners ourselves.

While we were thinking we were on the road to originality, I discovered a blog that said "prints charming" is the "latest craze to take the wedding world by storm".  And this wasn't the only one to proclaim 2013 as the year in print. These "year in a nutshell" blogs and posts from wedding experts, event planners and even decor specialists highlighted a lot of things in our wedding - including, doughnuts, the color mint and a non-white gown.  I realized that if I read enough of them, every wedding personifies what's hot in 2013.  They're not an accurate gauge of what you should do but rather a reminder that a wedding is a wedding.  (Note: I have for the most part weened myself off the wedding blogs, etc. Too much info and not enough influence in our decisions.)

So, armed with that tidbit of  information, we went fabric shopping.  While we tried to stick with one color-ish theme, we picked up fabric that pleased us or made us smile. This was the easy part.

Since we have 12 five-foot round tables for our reception, I cut each 7-foot length of fabric into thirds length-wise (makes about a foot wide runner with some extra for the hem).

Using an iron, I folded over the edges to form a double hem.  Over the course of a couple of weekends (in between Canucks games), I stitched each side of the seven-foot long runners.  Nothing fancy.

While I am awfully proud of them, I know they are far from perfect. I'm hoping what they lack in appearance they make up with in charm.  It was an easy project that shows a lot of our personality. So, while they may add pops of color to the tables -- I'm hoping they are a reflection of the bride and groom and not just another runner.

Resources:

• Prints Charming: 2013 Wedding Trends

Program? We don't need no **CENSORED** programs! Or do we?

I'll be honest with you.  My first thought was to skip the whole wedding program thing.  To me, it sounded like a whole lot of work to tell guests that they are at a wedding. Plus, a co-worker of mine said she made some beautiful, but intricately designed programs, for her wedding a few years ago and she left the venue with about 80 percent of them.

And then I read some wedding blogs (bad Weegee!) which pointed out the benefits of distributing these handy dandy guides for the big day.  Some of these benefits include highlighting the members of the wedding party, anything unusual about the ceremony and giving some props to vendors.  It helped solidify why programs were usually necessary -- but didn't seal the deal as to why we should implement this handy tool when it came time for us to exchange vows.

It wasn't until I found one couple's "So, You're Going To Sit Through A Wedding" program on one of my favorite blog sites, OffBeatBride.com.  This program was a handcrafted pamphlet that resembles a three-fold brochure you would find on the tourism rack of the hotel. It highlighted all the quirky bits of their wedding, such as how to use the photo booth and why clinking glasses to get the newlywedded couple to kiss isn't a good idea for anyone involved.

Front

What I liked about this design is that it doesn't follow the "flowers and lace" typical program.  The design allows for each person to inject personality and tone while communicating what makes their wedding different.   It offers the chance to further ones branding of the wedding. 

The blog posting got my creative juices flowing and I decided to design a program loosely on this model -- just to show Mike and gather his thoughts.  As I was pulling together "questions" and "answers" for the FAQ -- I realized two things.

1) Our wedding does have some special aspects. Since we don't have a wedding party, a guide may be helpful for navigating our non-traditional shindig. We aren't going the dinner and dancing route and it may be somewhat beneficial to communicate a few things such as the cake doughnut bar or the old western schoolroom with children activities nestled inside. 

Inside View

2) I had an awfully good time creating the program. It was laying out our wedding in an easy to read format.  It gave me a chance to talk about the inspiration behind our artist canvas guest book (more to come in a later post) and the meaning behind the Trivia Pursuit cards.  I was able to expand upon why we went with an early morning wedding and how come pancakes became the reception meal of choice.

I did alter the example a bit. While the interior of the pamphlet contains the "FAQs", the exterior highlights the vendors, the immediate family, our officiant and a special thank you to the guests -- turning the card stock into a true three-fold brochure for our pancake breakfast shindig.

Front/Back/Inside Flap

Since this was made on our computer, we did a small batch "print" of the programs, folding them while watching our favorite hockey team on the ice! Wedding crafting and couple bonding while hooting and hollering. It doesn't get any better than that.

While I had stolen the idea from another couple or blog post -- seeing the format highlighted on HuffingtonPost as "Best Program Ever" today sort of stole the breeze out of my sails. But not enough to put the kibosh on it.  For each wedding is different -- and thus, so are the programs.

The Big 4-0: Forty Days to Our Wedding

There were two events that brought home how soon our upcoming wedding was and how much we still had to accomplish -- even for the simple, low-key affair we had planned.

The first was an email from Mike's mother regarding where we stood with the Welcome Shindig scheduled for the night before.  She said the last she heard we were contemplating the menu at the hotel and working on a budget.  Unfortunately, I reported that no progress had been made. 

The second was a discussion between Mike and I that went something like this:

Mike: "Well, other than writing our vows, we shouldn't have much left to do."

To which I smiled and pulled out THE NOTEBOOK with two full pages of items that still needed some attention, such as: welcome packages, finalize and printing programs, creating the iPod dance list, a shot list for the photog, menu options for the Welcome Shindig and finding something for him to wear for the big day.

Needless to say, neither one of us were smiling by the time I ran through the checklist. In fact, the two of us were left feeling a bit overwhelmed and . . . panicky may be the best word.  This kitchen pow-wow during breakfast in the end helped out greatly.   It also helped us put the whole event planning into perspective.

1) Together
For the past eight months, we have slowly accumulated boxes of wedding stuff.  For the most part, I have done a lot of the design work solo -- mostly due to my flexible work schedule.  However, it has been a partnership through out most of the process. While I was stitching runners together, Mike was painting flowers on the pots for the herb centerpieces. We still have a ways to go -- but the checklist is helping the two of us know what to do and where to go next.    Together. 

2) It Is What It Is
The two of us will work to accomplish what we can or what is most important.  It helped us weigh and measure each item. Obviously, printing out a banner for the donut table may not rank as high as finding the groom something to wear for the ceremony. We will do what we can and live without some of the details we may have discussed as "that's neat." There is nothing that we "have to have" . . . well, other than clothes for Mike.

As we enter into the final forty days before our wedding, I feel a sense of "wedding zen." We're communicating and functioning as a family unit -- which is really what the engagement process is really about.  That and the power of pancakes did a lot to sooth our planning jitters.

Saying "I Do" in Our Words

When we sat down with our dear friend and officiant of our upcoming wedding, Lisa Morrison, she mentioned that we should consider writing our own vows.  I remember at the time thinking that was an excellent idea. I didn't realize what we were actually signing ourselves up for or what it would actually take to accomplish this task.

And we aren't alone. According to one post on Wedding Wire, an officiant said "100% of couples tell me they are writing their own vows. Less than 3% actually do. Out of those one froze and could not speak, one was very nice and the last was a story that went on and on and on."

A couple of our friends tied-the-knot in a beautiful ceremony last December.  About a month after the event, we asked them about their vows.  The newlywedded bride said that they had written their own vows, but she "chickened out the day before and we just went with what the officiant said." 

Writing your own vows is a daunting thing. It opens your relationship to everyone in attendance and shines a spotlight onto a very personal aspect of your relationship -- your love for your partner.  It's a part that people, up until this moment, have only glimpsed in a glance the two of you shared or maybe the way you hold hands while watching the news.

Mike and I are introverts who shy away from taking center stage and the idea of opening our relationship up to our parents, cousins and friends from work puts a nice anxiety knot in my stomach.

However, after reading forum posts, blogs, websites and books dedicated to the touchy subject of vows,  I think we should write our own vows.  Here's why:

1) The age of technology has given us the opportunity to share, copy and paste and interact about something that, in my opinion, is very personal. I saw so many posts where someone wrote "I like that. I'm going to use it."  Use someone else's words? I don't think I would feel comfortable using someone else's words or expressions or phrasing.  It's going to mean more to me to use my own words.

2) It comes down to what I think would make me "feel married".  At the end of the big day, I want to know that I told Mike how I feel, my promises and declaration in my own words. That will make the our commitment to each other seem that more real. I will at that point feel like we were in the ceremony, shared what was in our hearts and have been incorporated into one another's life.

Don't get me wrong. If repeating the traditional vows or the ones your officiant supplies makes you "feel married", that's awesome.  If you find inspiration on the web to kick your own vows up a notch, go for it. It's more important that you feel comfortable, are in your element and stating the words that you want to say.  Whatever and however they may be.

For us,  this meant writing our own vows.

Vows, What Are They Anyway?
I am showing my lack of wedding knowledge with this one. I honestly didn't know what wedding vows were.  Was this the "for better or worse" or the history of us? Or is this the love letter I write to him but read in front of everyone while standing in a pretty dress? How is this different from the ring exchange or the declaration? As a bridal newbie, I was lost. Absolutely without a map and up a creek lost. I needed a scarecrow to point this Dorothy in the right direction.

Luckily that guide was found in a "Wedding Ceremony for Dummies"-esque posting on one of my wedding porn sites.  According to the post, the declaration of intent is the "I Do" part of the ceremony where "the couple faces one another, takes hands, and answers some very important questions about marriage."

The vows can either be read by the couple to each other or done as a "repeat after me" with the presiding officiant.   They are the promises each partner in a couple makes to the other.  More traditional vows are the "for better, for worse, for richer or poorer" style.  This is where you make the promises you VOW to keep, hold dear and cherish to your partner.

Ring vows, traditionally done in the "repeat after me style"  is a demonstration of what the ring symbolizes to the marriage, couple, etc.  Often times, it incorporates the lines "with this ring, I thee wed" or "Take this ring as a symbol of my love, etc."

However, as the blogger suggested, often times the vows and declaration get mingled together. You can drop the ring vows and just exchange the bling after the personal vows. Want to skip the declaration? That's awesome. Your day. Your way. It's the Burger King way of weddings. There is no right or wrong.  There's only "your way".

Writing the Vows
There are tons of sites dedicated to sharing vows or with tips for how to get started on writing your promises to your loved one.  These tips range from how you met your partner to what marriage means to you.  They make suggestions on setting a length limit to making sure your sentimental words don't clash with his humorous anecdote. 

These sites can offer more assistance and Googling "vows" will give you enough fudder for inspiration and direction.

But I have often noticed that the hardest part is just starting. So my suggestion is really just basic.  Pick up a pen or open a word document on your computer and start. Start small. Write a few sentences about your partner. Then a bit more. Eventually, you will have a good idea of what it is you want to say or promise to your partner.  And it doesn't have to be long.

My caterer related a story in which the bride and groom wrote their own vows. The bride read hers, which was long, sentimental and spoken from the heart. When it came down to the groom, his nerves won out and all he said was "I love you. I want to marry you." 

In the end, that's what it really is all about anyway right?  Find your way to say "I love you. I want to marry you" and that's the key to writing vows.

Resources:
A Practical Wedding: Open Thread: Wedding Vows
Offbeat Bride: Wedding Ceremony 101

Why I Splurged On Invites

"Go easy on the invite. People read it once and toss it aside, if not in the trash." This was advice from a wedding coordinator but it echos a lot of the advice a bride-to-be will find on forums, blogs or any other wedding-dedicated site.

Even if the above is true, it was not advice I took to heart.

I will admit that invites aren't as sexy as splurging on the photobooth with props or a unique backdrop. They aren't nearly as fun as booking a four-piece rockabilly band for your reception throw down. And, more than likely, they aren't nearly as necessary as the fantastic purple heels with sparkles that spell out "I Do" on the heels. 

I'm not knocking the above as splurges and I applaud anyone who knows exactly what they need to make their big day complete.  However, I believe creating a invite should be just as important as any of the above.

The invite is more than just telling loved ones that your big day is coming and that their presence is requested at the celebration.  While it is a useful tool for communicating the pertinent information like the key players, date, location, time and type of wedding -- there is a bigger purpose.

Your invite is an announcement of the birth of a new family unit - the one between you and your partner (and children if applicable).  It is more than the day you got married -- but the day you started your marriage and new family. 
It's also the first impression that friends and family have of you and your partner as a couple -- and, in some cases, the first impression loved ones have of your partner if they have not previously met.  This is an introduction -- a grand entrance, if you will. 

It also communicates to your guests the mood of the wedding and what they can expect.  Think of it as your promotional campaign for your wedding -- promoting your big day and the following bash.  Is it a tropical-themed luau? Is it a three-course sit down reception? Should they be prepared for an outdoor ceremony in the middle of July? Is it a wedding weekend or a casual cake and champagne reception?  Casual or traditional, big or small event, the invite gives your guests a sneak peek on what they can expect from your wedding so they can plan accordingly. But more than that, it will get them excited about your marriage start!

An invite also lets the guest know what is required of them -- time and commitment wise.  Are there events booked for the entire weekend? Is it just a cocktail reception? Is there a welcome dinner for out of town guests? When should they arrive in town? How long should they stay?  Is it formal? Is it casual? Do they need their own picnic blanket? Take the guess work out of the equation and tell them what you have planned, what is optional and what they should wear to either one.
Taking the time to create a unique and very personalized invite, whether you whether you order one online or do-it-yourself with stamps, ribbons, rhinestones and cardstock, makes it SOMETHING SPECIAL to your guests.  

Think about when you have received homemade granola or a hand-crafted holiday card.  Someone took the time to work their creative side in order to give you something very personal.  It becomes an extension of them -- a personal connection to you.

Invest a bit in your invite.  Use your own words to create the text on the invite.  Go beyond just choosing a card stock in your color or selecting one of the available fonts.  Insert a bit of yourself into the invite -- more than just the name, date, location.  Own your invites.

Your guests will notice.  It will become an extension of you delivered into their inbox or mailbox.  It is a detail that will make them feel honored, special and it will become more of a momento and less of just "another invite." 

Break the mold. Get creative. It's worth it.

Sending Out Invites: "This is Real Moment"

One of the most important aspects of a wedding is the invite.  Whether it is a small gathering for a courthouse ceremony or an extended list for a backyard blowout shindig, it is important to invite loved ones to your event (note: an elopement is slightly different, but its still important that the key people show up). 

Whether you send it via the Internet or snail mail, there is a lot of work and planning that goes into the invite. For months we have been making plans, jotting down ideas in a spiral notebook and talking over the finer points with our parents. 

It was no wonder that I had a slight moment of panic when it finally came to mailing the handcrafted invites.

My partner and I finalized the look of the invites a few months ago, but needed to wait on a few key details before printing and assembling them. Our goal was to get them out by the end of January for our April wedding.  However, the new year meant people were looking at their calendars, asking for time off from employers and looking to make solid plans for our wedding.  We started getting information requests the first week of January and knew we needed to push forward the standard six to eight weeks before invite deadline to more like mid-January.

For about twelve days, we worked on finalizing the details, doing a mock up, changing this or adding that and building out our website so it had additional information.  While the invite may be a bit over the top, the two of us felt we had invitations that were a reflection of us and that we had fun designing.

After all of the invites had been created, stuffed into envelopes, sealed and addressed, I headed down to the local post office for the final step - mailing the invite. 

It was while I was applying the stamps to the mountain of envelopes at one of the counters that the gravity of the situation hit me. 

Sending out the invites was kicking off our wedding. This was the kick-start to our big day. This was the first impression of us as a couple, of our non-traditional event (breakfast wedding) and opening the door for others to accept or decline. This was the first time that people outside the intimate circle was going to see our vision.

But it was also more than that.  It was a "this just got real" moment for me. I was no longer planning or dreaming of what could be.  The items we had scribbled into our spiral was coming to fruition.  It was happening.  It would no longer just be me and my partner.  This was the first step into announcing the birth of our family unit.  This was us announcing to the world the beginning of our married life.

"Are these ready to go?" The girl helping me behind the counter asked as I stood staring at the stack of stamped kraft brown envelopes, each with a different family or friend's address. After a moment, I told her they were in fact ready and watched as she loaded each one into the plastic bins.   I knew it was time to let go of what was "ours" and invite others to share our new unit.

While it was a huge "check" off our wedding to-do list, it also felt like the kick start to our marriage. 

Couple of Lessons We Learned:

• People start making vacation plans right after New Years. Even if you don't have anything finalized, consider having your Save the Dates ready to go after Christmas. Get on people's calendars and radars.
• Consider sending an email to those living outside the state ahead to give them a heads up if you can't get the invite out right away
• Take your invite mock to the post office to make sure it will be easy to send or trouble shoot any issues before assembling them all.  May save you some $$ on postage.

Aspiration vs. Inspiration: Tap Into Your Creativity This Wedding

While browsing wedding blogs and websites,  I often come across comments or forum topics where people are asking for the template for banners, programs, menus . . .you name it.  While I know that not everyone has access to Photoshop or is handy enough with scissors to cut perfect circles, I find this a bit disheartening.

I don't think weddings should be cookie cut or designed by templates.  I think websites shouldn't be used as a "how-to" guide but rather as a "fodder for future thought" bucket.

Aspiration is defined as a goal or a strong desire for achievement.  Used in context with planning a wedding, these is the eye candy you find in magazines, blogs, "real wedding" photos and idea forums.  This is what causes the "oh, pretty!" phrase to tumble from our lips.  This is what causes us to "pin it" to a board or clip it and paste it in our binders as another "must-have" for our big days.

But don't confuse this with inspiration.  Inspiration is something that generates an idea or sparks a creative slant to your project.  Inspiration can be found on those same blogs, magazines and forums.  However, it isn't the act of finding them but what happens when those images or DIY projects have time to incubate in your mind.

Every new idea is a mashup of one or more ideas.  An each idea, picture, project or decorating concept is a remix of everything you have chosen to let into your life.  As stated in the book "Steal Like an Artist" by Austin Kleon, "you can pick the music you listen to and you can pick the books you read and you can pick the movies you see . . . you are the sum of your influences."

Read the blogs, study the wedding magazines and scour through the endless forums on wedding websites.  As Kleon said, "your job is to collect good ideas.  The more good ideas you collect, the more you can choose from to be influenced by."

Then, it is necessary to let the dust settle. Step away from the influences and wedding input to allow your mind to work the ideas like a Rubix cube, flipping ideas this way and that way in an attempt to find what works for you.

Use the aspirations to add to your influences and then use the influences to inspire your creativity when it comes to reception decor or the perfect gown.  This will help you envision the wedding day of your dreams, and not the vision of the wedding industry, friends or a forum poster.