Our Vows

"What was your favorite moment?" asked one of Mike's cousins the day after our wedding. Without hesitation, Mike responded enthusiastically with two words - "The vows."

So, per a request from several other family members, below is the text from our ceremony (all five minutes of it!):

LISA:
Friends, we are gathered here this morning to celebrate and witness the joining of Michael Lee Sachtjen and Alisha Lynn Manlove in marriage, and to be with them in the making of this important new step in their lives together.

While I am standing here, honored to lead this joyous occasion, it is not me, or a public official or member of the clergy who marries you. Only you can marry each other by your mutual commitment of love to each other, your consideration and respect for each other, and by your willingness to face the joys and challenges of life together as husband and wife.

The essence of this commitment is the joining with another person in his or her entirety as lover, companion, and friend. Marriage symbolizes this intimate yet public sharing of two lives.

We are here today, then, to celebrate the love that Mike and Weegee have for each other, and to give social and legal recognition to their decision to accept each other totally and permanently. Into this state of marriage these two individuals come now to be united.

Weegee has requested a moment to address her mother and the mother of the groom.

<<At this point, Weegee separated her "breakaway brooch bouquet" and said a few improv but heartfelt comments to both her mother (Judith) and Mike's mom (Cecelia).  Then she went back to standing next to Mike.>>

Mike, could you please take Weegee's hand and tell her your thoughts on this day?

MIKE:
Alisha, Weegee, Manlove, my Panda,

We have gone from bench mates, to drinking buddies, to best friends, to partners. Each step has not replaced the last, but has added richness to our lives. We have had many wonderful adventures together, learned to trust one another, became each others greatest supporters, and fell in love each other.

You brighten my day when you share yours.

You encourage me when I'm held back by self doubt.

You make it OK for me to be me when I worry what others may think.

Today, we add to the list of titles that of husband and wife, but it does not replace the other titles.  You are still my greatest adventure buddy, my best friend and my partner through life.

Nor is the final title we will bestow upon each other.  I look forward to the day that we become business partner, igloo inhabitants, season ticket holders, nursing home roommates, or whatever title goes with whatever adventure we haven't even thought up yet.

I promise to encourage you because I have seen you do great things.

I promise to support you because together we're capable of so much more.

I promise to listen to you and talk to you because through communication comes understanding, and through understanding intimacy.

I promise to trust you because you've never let me down and I know your heart is always in the right place.

Above all, I promise to love you.

I love you.  I want to marry you.

LISA:
Weegee, please hold Mike's hands and tell him your thoughts today.

WEEGEE:
Michael Lee Sachtjen -- My Dragon

As you stated, we have traveled from benchmates to beer buddies to best friends and finally to partners. 

Today, happily, we once again update our relationship status. This time to husband and wife.  All these transitions were made possible because you love me just the way I am.  With you, I can just be me. 

With that, I promise to always be real with you, up front and honest. Even if it would be easier to fake it.

I promise to live in the moment and not rely on past reactions. To share my thoughts, feelings and insecurities with you and listen with an open heart and mind when you do the same.

I promise to laugh at your jokes or when you growl like a bear.  Not because it's the nice thing to do as your wife, but because I will always think that you’re the funniest boy I know.

I promise to be your co-pilot for all future adventures and inspire you to reach out beyond your comfort zone - whether it is your culinary ambitions or our shared bed and breakfast vision.

I promise to always sit hip to hip with you in the pubs. Not because you have a better view of the Canucks game.  But because I want you to know that I’m thrilled to have you there with me. Always, Bear.

I promise to work every day to be the woman you deserve. To hold your hand when things are easy peasy lemony squeezy and when they're difficult, difficult lemony difficult.

And finally, you are my dragon. You have made me feel treasured, cherished, protect and loved. I promise to always make you feel the same.

I love you. I want to marry you.

LISA:
The wedding ring is the most instantly recognizable symbol of marriage -- the circle of the band symbolizing eternity. Both Mike and Weegee have been wearing their rings around their necks in anticipation of this day when they will place the rings forever on each other's fingers.

<<During the above, Mike and Weegee took the rings off the necklaces that they had been wearing for eight months.>>

Mike, please present the ring you have for Weegee.

Will you  Michael, promise that from this day onward  Weegee will be your wife? Will you promise to laugh with her when times are good and endure with her when they are hard? Will you pledge to her your respect and your love?

MIKE:
I will.    <<He places the ring on Weegee's finger.>>

LISA: 
Weegee, please present the ring you have for Mike.

Will you  Alisha, promise that from this day onward  Mike will be your husband? Will you promise to laugh with him when times are good and endure with her when they are hard? Will you pledge to him your respect and your love?

WEEGEE:
I do . . . I will . . . I do . . . <<Weegee was confused as to what was asked of her thanks to a conversation the night before with Becky Gerlach and Kristie Veith.  They mentioned the scene from "Princess Bride" about whether the love interest said "I do" or not and that it doesn't count if you don't say "I do." >>

LISA:
I think you are covered.

<<Weegee places the ring on Mike's finger.>>

LISA:
May these two people, now married, fulfill this commitment to each other. May they openly give and take from each other, encouraging each other's successes, sharing in each other's joys, and helping each  other in times of trouble. 

We who are present, and those who are absent thinking of these two people, hope that the inspiration of this moment will never be forgotten. And we pledge to support this couple as they forge their new lives together.

It is now my great pleasure to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Sachtjen.

<<Bride and Groom kiss and strut through the chapel to exit out the front doors.>>

"The bride and groom are going to take a few moments to themselves before doing a short photo shoot with their photographer. Please feel free to get a fill up on your beverages, walk the grounds or sign the guest canvases. Breakfast is on at 10 a.m."

It Takes a Village . . . to Hold a Wedding (AKA: Thank You!)

Mike and I returned home from our whirlwind wedding adventure to the States on Tuesday afternoon.  We unloaded our rental car but I resisted my obsessive compulsive habit of unpacking everything right away.  It wasn't because I was dead-dog tired, although that would have been applicable.  It wasn't because I had other important issues to contend with, such as lavishing the furry critter with love and attention.

I think my new mother-in-law said it best, "I hate the packing up after the event. It means it's over." To take all of our carefully crafted signs out of the wooden picture frames or cart the milk bottle vases back to the grocery store would be saying that the wedding is over. Complete. El Fin.

Photo Courtesy: Aly Shoji

It's approaching one week since I vowed to become Mike's wife, and I am still gushing about our trip to the altar. A smile lights up my face as I recall walking into the reception area to see 90 of our closets friends and family diving into pancakes smothered in goodies and Canadian maple syrup. I get a bit choked up at the thought of our five minute (it felt like 30) wedding ceremony.  And I can't help but laugh at the memory of all the kids on paddle boats in the middle of the lake.

As I stated before, there really are two things that make a wedding day: success and special.  At the end of Saturday, or rather before noon, I was able to call myself Mrs. Sachtjen.  That's success in my book and a huge check next to the "Get Married" item on our eight-month long wedding to-do list.

What made it special was all of the people who attended, helped or even supported our union from afar.  It's touching and a bit humbling to know the lives you have touched and those who want to be part of your next chapter.

Mike and I, the shy introverts we are, are not big on speeches. It took all we had to share our vows that morning.  However, there were several people that we needed to thank for it does take a lot of help, assistance and support from loved ones to pull off a successful and special wedding.

Photo Courtesy of Aly Shoji

That being said, here is a huge shout out to those who helped us on our wedding day. While listing their name doesn't do the following people justice as to how much they contributed to our "sweet start", we like to think of it as the credits at the end of a big production - they all played a vital role, no matter how small**:

• John and Cecelia Sachtjen
• Robert Sachtjen
• Charles and Judith Manlove
• Heidi Manlove
• Lisa Morrison
• Nancy and Lynn Hyslop
• Norma and Kevin Petty
• Mary and Ron Ferguson
• Dawn and Brian Vezzoso
• Aaron and Christin
• Georgie Holton
• Carin & Drew Lahr

And the numerous people who helped with clean up efforts, including the Shoji's (east and west), Ellen Sachtjen, Rich Peters and the Hyslops.

I would also like to offer a shout out to our vendors:

• Beth at It's All About You Catering
• Brianne and Tayler Gray at Still Water Hollow
• Annie at Let It Shine Photography
• Casse at Hampton Inn - Downtown Boise
• Norm and Lee Jensen at Black Canyon Gourmet Popcorn
• Kristin at Soda Pop Dresse Shoppe (Weegee's Wedding Dress)
• Serene at Stamp-Connection (our logo and rubber stamps for decorating)

And last, but not least, we wish to thank all of our family and friends who traveled near and far to witness our special day! We appreciate all that you did or sacrificed to make our wedding day special. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

** If I missed someone, please contact me. Even as I typed this I feel like I overlooked something. Any omission is absolutely accidental and I apologize ahead of time.

Wedding Go Time!

We're getting married this week!

Over the weekend, Mike and I got his shoes shined, got my hair cut, put final touches on our vows and distributed the revised edition of our "day of" schedule.  By Saturday afternoon, we had accomplished all we could from our home in Canada.  All that remains is the final prep on Friday for our Saturday wedding.

Friends and family have been asking if we are stressed, nervous or excited. They want to know where we are going into the final week before our marriage.

The event we have spent the last eight months discussing and planning is about to happen and there is that part of me that is sayin, "bout damn time!" I can't wait until I can plan something other than a wedding.  I want a weekend that isn't chalked full of printing signs, pictures or programs. It will be nice to look ahead beyond our wedding date.  I'm not saying it has been hard or difficult. For the most part, it has been a fun experience that the two of us shared.  But it's like watching the same show everyday for eight months -- eventually you just need to change the channel.

That's where the excitement comes in for me.  As of 9:20 a.m. this Saturday, Mike and I will be starting our marriage together.  We will be focusing on our goal of one day opening a bed and breakfast together.  We will encourage our personal passions, such as writing and cooking, as we go forward as a family unit. Our planning will be more rounded and have a much larger picture than one fast-approaching day.

There's a bit of nerves there as we will be hosting two events with over 80 people. As introverts, we have been extremely cautious about approaching this as a laid-back, low-key backyard pancake feed with a small ceremony thrown in for fun.  By eliminating the center stage that weddings tend to create, or at least reducing it in our minds, the whole weekend seems manageable.  I'm sure there will be stress, tantrums and things that don't go as planned. 

As we prepare to leave Canada to kick start our wedding trip, I can't help but think we are in the right place.  The wedding zen as they call it.  It's the final push. We've done what we can. We're focused not necessary on the event but what it means as the start of another chapter of us. 

I'm ready. Let's do it. 

Why Morning Weddings Aren't Popular (Or Why We Wanted a Morning Wedding)

I spend a lot of my downtime reading articles about leadership, business and optimism.  One of concepts that all of these resources share is the theme of taking back the mornings. This "mind over mattress" belief is that each morning is a new beginning. It is a way for one to carve out extra time to focus their sights on the daily agenda and future goals.

And to us, it was the perfect time of day to get married.

During our venue shopping visit to Idaho, we had a bit of a rough start convincing people of our vision.  We would mention breakfast reception -- but the reception hall or catering vendor would remark about how they enjoy champagne brunches.  One of my favorite responses was that it would be a neat idea to have pancakes for dinner. 

They're not alone.  Morning weddings are not overly popular. While the time of day limits the amount of alcohol guests will consume, it also somewhat limits your menu choices.  Reception halls and catering bills may be a bit cheaper -- but the trick is finding someone who wants to get up and make sure the donuts are laid out by 7:30 a.m. for the morning "coffee hour." Also, you will be able to find a styling company to hang the paper lanterns, lay out the organza runners on the tables and expertly place the burlap banners -- but getting them to do it at 5 a.m. on Saturday morning may cost a bit more then your evening bridal counterparts.

From a guest standpoint, it means getting up freakishly early to watch a twenty-minute ceremony.  Several brides on wedding forums and blogs have said that they wouldn't attend a morning wedding even if their own sister was tying the knot. 

However, it's actually the wedding party that are not fond of the morning weddings, for these reasons:

* Hard to find hairstylist or makeup person will to get to work before 7 a.m. Thus, you have to have a friend into hair or be willing to go minimalistic . . . on your wedding day.

* More often than not, due to the hour, the bride and groom become the decorating party. Instead of a slow, relaxing, pampered day until your event, you're hanging the paper lanterns and stringing up the banners.  Translated: your decorations need to be a bit simple for you only have a few hours to get it together.

* It's not the dance-a-thon of traditional weddings.  I think many people love the idea of the dinner/cocktails and dance blow out bashes.  Morning weddings are a bit more low-key due to the time of day, internal clocks and nature of the event.  You may be hard pressed to find anyone willing to hit the dance floor at 10:30 a.m.

* You have to get up freakishly early to get ready, prep the venue and then get into "bridal" mode.  Say 3:30 or 4 a.m. -- if you're lucky.

So, morning weddings aren't popular.  They move up the timeframe of the day, you're guests are pretty much done by noon and the wedding party is ready for bed by 5 p.m.  

And that sounds perfect to us.  

I think it would be torture to wait all day long to exchange vows when we can get up and make a fresh start to our marriage. 

Mike and I are also low-maintenance people -- I am not doing a whole lot for makeup and hair.  It would make me more self-conscious than add to the moment.

The two of us are also not keen on dancing and are usually in bed by 8:30 p.m. The idea of planning a late night dance reception seemed a bit out of character for us.

While we were planning our "sweet start," there were only a few raised eyebrows.  We have found a venue, caterer and photog that readily embraces our vision.  It was the friends and family who have surprised us the most by jumping on board with our slight break in tradition.  Despite having to be there by 8 a.m. -- most of our guests RSVPed that they wouldn't miss it.  And that is what will actually make our day special -- the guests!

Wedding DIY: Breakaway Brooch Bouquet

I believe DIY crafters have patience, an eye for the finished product and perseverance.  While doing our DIY for the wedding, there were several times when I knew those qualities were not my strongest suits.

During my research, I fell in love with the idea of creating a brooch bouquet for our wedding.  The basic design includes creating "stems" out of wire and attaching brooches, which are inserted into fabric hydrangeas.   They are sparkly, won't wilt during the day and are the perfect keepsake of your wedding day.   Plus, it is one of those things that you can create well in advance of your wedding day.


"Making a brooch bouquet is quite the DIY project!  It takes patience and creativity.  But it is a worthy endeavor.  Especially when you are ready to walk down the aisle carrying a beautiful brooch bouquet of your own making," according to the "How to Design a Brooch Bouquet" post on Fancy Pants Wedding.com. 

It was the instructions included in the above posting that I followed when attempting to create my own bouquet -- with a couple of stylistic changes.

First of all, she suggested using 55 brooches.  While this adds a whole lot of glam factor, it was a bit large and in charge.  I actually used only 16 brooches. I only wanted to highlight a few brooches and opted for a more simple look.

And secondly, my vision included a breakaway option.  Traditionally, the bride tosses her bridal bouquet to a crowd of single females who dive, push, shove and tackle one another to be the next one to walk down the aisle. Some brides have ordered two bouquets from their florist - one for tossing, one for keeping. 

A new twist is to have a breakaway -- a bouquet that is actually several small ones gathered together.  When the tossing comes up, the bride flings all six bouquets at once.

While Mike and I aren't participating in the tossing tradition, I did want two separate heirloom brooch bouquets (the reason which can't be revealed at this time). So, how does one go about creating that? Well, it goes back to the patience and creativity.

I started out following the blogs instructions by attaching the wire to each brooch.  I then twirled the corsage tape down the wire twice.  (Note: Her tip about the tape sticking best when gently pulled is a great one.  It's the only way to get it to stick.

Then, I split the finished brooches into two groups.  Holding one of the hydrangeas in my hand, I inserted one groups of the wired pieces one at a time.  When that was done, I wrapped each bunch from bottom to bouquet with the corsage tape and repeated with the second grouping. 

Once this was done, I wrapped the two stems with ribbons.

Well, then I needed something to hold the two stems, give them a bit of rigidity and "mask" the fact that there were two of them.  My inspiration came from the fact that we had finished a roll of paper towels.   So, I "reused" the roll and decorated with ribbons and decor from our wedding.

While I don't think it turned out as glamorous or professional looking as the one featured on the blog, I have to say that I was a bit impressed with what I was able to do.  Patience may not be my strong suit -- and I may get frustrated with the process . . . but may there is a crafter in all of us.

Resources:

• FancyPantsWedding.com: How to Design a Brooch Bouquet

Times Have Changed . . . The Price Of Weddings These Days

"Times have changed . . . I have proof!"

That was the name of the email I received from my future mother-in-law a couple of week's ago.  She was sifting through some of her keepsakes for vintage dresses and items to donate to the county museum when she stumbled upon her wedding budget and list of expenses from 1970. She worked as a secretary and saved every penny to pay for her wedding.

Recently, TheKnot.com and WeddingChannel.com's revealed the average price tag for weddings.  According to the Real Weddings Study, the average amount spent on a wedding in 2012 was $28,427.  According to the report, couples dropped more green than they have in the previous four years IN ALL aspects of the big day.

The report also revealed that "the average wedding spend per guest increased to $204, as compared to $196 in 2011 and even $194 in 2009. In fact, about 1 in 8 brides (13%) are spending more than $40,000 on their nuptials, and nearly 1 in 4 (23%) didn't even have a budget."

Where is the green going? Venue, dress, ring and photog are the big expenses.  But with that surge in "per guest" spending, it's really in the tiny details such as favors, rehearsal dinners, shoes and invites.

So how does my budget, my mother-in-laws wedding day expenses and the average cost from the survey stack up against one another?  Below is a table -- please note that not all costs are represented.



As you can see -- it's a matter of choice as to wear you funnel your money.  Our budget for the rehearsal dinner pretty much doubles the going average.  In our case, it makes sense. Mike and I  live in Canada and getting down to the states is a bit difficult.  We wanted to maximize the time spent with friends and family during our brief stay in Idaho.  That being said, our entire wedding guest list was invited to attend both the reception and the rehearsal dinner.

I admire my future mother-in-law for paying her own way down the aisle.  I think it was partly due to that experience and the fact that this is her son that she offered to help with the reception dinner.  It is something I GREATLY appreciate.

Bottom line: Live within your budget, focus on the points that mean the most to you and appreciate the monetary gifts that family members give you for the special day. The important thing is that it is an event that you as the happy couple enjoys and reflects your personality and values.

The final price tag doesn't reflect the heart, connections and love you will share that day.


* Includes cake; nuts; mints; punch; disposable plates, forks and engraved napkins; and hall rent
**Includes all outfit elements
***Includes the bar budget

Resources:
Real Weddings Study

iPod Wedding DJ with Remote!

For most of the wedding planning adventure, I have felt like a fish out of water.  I have been thrust into the world of taffeta vs tulle, one or two layer crinoline and centerpieces for round vs. rectangle tables. I have forged through decisions surrounding favors, programs and theme colors.

Most of the above experiences have been a learning process -- and a few involved learning from mistakes.  Which is why I was so proud to find one area that I could rock without having to do heavy research -- setting up my iTouch as a remote to control iTunes on my laptop for the reception.

While most venues have the option to hook up your iPod via audio cable to the in-house sound system or a docking station, this means that your iPod is just hanging out somewhere. To adjust the audio or change songs, you have to go to the set-up/station and manually adjust it.

One of the common tips I have found on websites and blogs as a warning for brides wanting to use an iPod in lieu of a DJ for the wedding reception is to have a music bouncer.  This role is to keep guests from adjusting or crashing the wedding playlist.

I have also heard that even if you have the iPod hooked up to the house/venue sound system, one must be sure to turn off the "clicks" so that they aren't heard over the system.

Turning your iPhone or iTouch into a remote SOLVES all of the above.  There is a bit more of a setup for you're not just hooking up your iPod to a sound/speaker system.  But it does allow you to adjust the audio and change songs without being near the speaker system.  Because you are only controlling the computer, there's no audio clicks when you engage your iPod/iPhone.  It also means YOU keep the control within your reach.

Oh! And it can be done at ANY venue that lets you hook up an iPod to their sound system.  Benefits are quite priceless.

What Do You Need:

• Laptop with iTunes & Wedding Playlist
• iTouch/iPhone
• Wi-Fi Router (but it doesn't need to have/provide internet access)
• a "can-do" attitude

Initial Set-Up & Testing: approx 45 minutes
Day of Set-up: 5 - 10 minutes

1) Wedding Playlist & iTunes on a Laptop/iPad
More than likely, you already have this step completed.  Most people have iTunes on their laptop.  Create a wedding playlist with your favorite songs and you are golden.  If you don't have iTunes installed, go ahead. It's easy and then upload/add/sync your current playlist from your iPod/iPhone.

2) Get the Remote App for you iTouch/iPad/iPhone
Here's where the magic happens.  Remote controlling iTunes from your iPod touch or iPhone has its advantages. Like, it could help you easily shuffle songs, adjust the volume and CAN WORK ANYWHERE in the wifi router area!  It basically eliminates the need to be at your computer to manage iTunes or leave your iPod where people can manipulate your playlist.

So I'm not recreating the wheel -- here are easy step-by-step instructions! FOLLOW THEM TO THE "T"!

3) Hook up your computer to a radio/speaker system
This is where the boom comes in.  We are just using the music for background noise, so we don't need a huge system.  Our living room radio, which we use to pump up hockey games, will do nicely for adding some specialized music to the background.  Using a audio cord, we hooked up my computer to the speaker system.  Check!

This is also where you would just hook up your computer to the inhouse/venue sound system via an audio cable.  

Extra Tip:
Set a password on your computer!  This will prevent anyone gaining access to the playlist. Or accessing anything you don't want peeps to see. Plus, honestly, it's good practice.

4) Set your laptop to avoid going into hibernation when you close the lid.  To do this,simply right click your desktop, go to Properties.Proceed to the screen saver tab, and then the Advanced button under the power settings section.In that option window, in one of the tabs, you will get selections such as "When I push the power button on my computer: _______" in one of the tabs usually around that option there will be something called "When I close the lid of my computer: _________". Here you want to select "Do Nothing".

5) Set Speaker Max Volume
Set the sound system to make volume.  In the Remote app on the iTouch/iPhone, you should then be able to adjust the audio up and down -- but it won't go above the setting of the speaker system.

6) Tweak "Cross-Fade" and Check "Sound Check" Options
On your computer and in the iTunes app, go to Edit and then Preferences.  Under "Playback", you should be able to adjust the "Cross-Fade" (which lengthens or reduces the down time between songs".  The "Sound Check" helps to stablize the audio level during playback.

7)  Plug in the Wi-Fi Router
This is used so that the computer and the device can talk to one another.  If you have data or a 3G card, this may not be necessary.  And you don't need to connect it to Ethernet or a phone line.  It just needs to be on so the two devices can talk to one another.

8) You are Golden!
You should now have your entire iTunes library in your Remote app. You can choose a song, and it automatically starts playing in iTunes on your computer. You should be able to adjust the audio.  AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE NEAR IT to do either of those.  Plus, you don't have to assign one of the bridesmaids or groomsmen as music guards.

Plus -- you will be able to do the same thing for your backyard barbecues, game nights with friends or even just hanging at the house.  It really is quite awesome.

A few reminders:
1) You need the wi-fi router.
2) iTunes should be opened on the computer. The REMOTE app does not start the program.

Now, get your groove on!

Resources:

• How to Install/Use Remote App
•  DJ Your Own Wedding