It Takes a Village . . . to Hold a Wedding (AKA: Thank You!)

Mike and I returned home from our whirlwind wedding adventure to the States on Tuesday afternoon.  We unloaded our rental car but I resisted my obsessive compulsive habit of unpacking everything right away.  It wasn't because I was dead-dog tired, although that would have been applicable.  It wasn't because I had other important issues to contend with, such as lavishing the furry critter with love and attention.

I think my new mother-in-law said it best, "I hate the packing up after the event. It means it's over." To take all of our carefully crafted signs out of the wooden picture frames or cart the milk bottle vases back to the grocery store would be saying that the wedding is over. Complete. El Fin.

Photo Courtesy: Aly Shoji

It's approaching one week since I vowed to become Mike's wife, and I am still gushing about our trip to the altar. A smile lights up my face as I recall walking into the reception area to see 90 of our closets friends and family diving into pancakes smothered in goodies and Canadian maple syrup. I get a bit choked up at the thought of our five minute (it felt like 30) wedding ceremony.  And I can't help but laugh at the memory of all the kids on paddle boats in the middle of the lake.

As I stated before, there really are two things that make a wedding day: success and special.  At the end of Saturday, or rather before noon, I was able to call myself Mrs. Sachtjen.  That's success in my book and a huge check next to the "Get Married" item on our eight-month long wedding to-do list.

What made it special was all of the people who attended, helped or even supported our union from afar.  It's touching and a bit humbling to know the lives you have touched and those who want to be part of your next chapter.

Mike and I, the shy introverts we are, are not big on speeches. It took all we had to share our vows that morning.  However, there were several people that we needed to thank for it does take a lot of help, assistance and support from loved ones to pull off a successful and special wedding.

Photo Courtesy of Aly Shoji

That being said, here is a huge shout out to those who helped us on our wedding day. While listing their name doesn't do the following people justice as to how much they contributed to our "sweet start", we like to think of it as the credits at the end of a big production - they all played a vital role, no matter how small**:

• John and Cecelia Sachtjen
• Robert Sachtjen
• Charles and Judith Manlove
• Heidi Manlove
• Lisa Morrison
• Nancy and Lynn Hyslop
• Norma and Kevin Petty
• Mary and Ron Ferguson
• Dawn and Brian Vezzoso
• Aaron and Christin
• Georgie Holton
• Carin & Drew Lahr

And the numerous people who helped with clean up efforts, including the Shoji's (east and west), Ellen Sachtjen, Rich Peters and the Hyslops.

I would also like to offer a shout out to our vendors:

• Beth at It's All About You Catering
• Brianne and Tayler Gray at Still Water Hollow
• Annie at Let It Shine Photography
• Casse at Hampton Inn - Downtown Boise
• Norm and Lee Jensen at Black Canyon Gourmet Popcorn
• Kristin at Soda Pop Dresse Shoppe (Weegee's Wedding Dress)
• Serene at Stamp-Connection (our logo and rubber stamps for decorating)

And last, but not least, we wish to thank all of our family and friends who traveled near and far to witness our special day! We appreciate all that you did or sacrificed to make our wedding day special. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

** If I missed someone, please contact me. Even as I typed this I feel like I overlooked something. Any omission is absolutely accidental and I apologize ahead of time.

Why Morning Weddings Aren't Popular (Or Why We Wanted a Morning Wedding)

I spend a lot of my downtime reading articles about leadership, business and optimism.  One of concepts that all of these resources share is the theme of taking back the mornings. This "mind over mattress" belief is that each morning is a new beginning. It is a way for one to carve out extra time to focus their sights on the daily agenda and future goals.

And to us, it was the perfect time of day to get married.

During our venue shopping visit to Idaho, we had a bit of a rough start convincing people of our vision.  We would mention breakfast reception -- but the reception hall or catering vendor would remark about how they enjoy champagne brunches.  One of my favorite responses was that it would be a neat idea to have pancakes for dinner. 

They're not alone.  Morning weddings are not overly popular. While the time of day limits the amount of alcohol guests will consume, it also somewhat limits your menu choices.  Reception halls and catering bills may be a bit cheaper -- but the trick is finding someone who wants to get up and make sure the donuts are laid out by 7:30 a.m. for the morning "coffee hour." Also, you will be able to find a styling company to hang the paper lanterns, lay out the organza runners on the tables and expertly place the burlap banners -- but getting them to do it at 5 a.m. on Saturday morning may cost a bit more then your evening bridal counterparts.

From a guest standpoint, it means getting up freakishly early to watch a twenty-minute ceremony.  Several brides on wedding forums and blogs have said that they wouldn't attend a morning wedding even if their own sister was tying the knot. 

However, it's actually the wedding party that are not fond of the morning weddings, for these reasons:

* Hard to find hairstylist or makeup person will to get to work before 7 a.m. Thus, you have to have a friend into hair or be willing to go minimalistic . . . on your wedding day.

* More often than not, due to the hour, the bride and groom become the decorating party. Instead of a slow, relaxing, pampered day until your event, you're hanging the paper lanterns and stringing up the banners.  Translated: your decorations need to be a bit simple for you only have a few hours to get it together.

* It's not the dance-a-thon of traditional weddings.  I think many people love the idea of the dinner/cocktails and dance blow out bashes.  Morning weddings are a bit more low-key due to the time of day, internal clocks and nature of the event.  You may be hard pressed to find anyone willing to hit the dance floor at 10:30 a.m.

* You have to get up freakishly early to get ready, prep the venue and then get into "bridal" mode.  Say 3:30 or 4 a.m. -- if you're lucky.

So, morning weddings aren't popular.  They move up the timeframe of the day, you're guests are pretty much done by noon and the wedding party is ready for bed by 5 p.m.  

And that sounds perfect to us.  

I think it would be torture to wait all day long to exchange vows when we can get up and make a fresh start to our marriage. 

Mike and I are also low-maintenance people -- I am not doing a whole lot for makeup and hair.  It would make me more self-conscious than add to the moment.

The two of us are also not keen on dancing and are usually in bed by 8:30 p.m. The idea of planning a late night dance reception seemed a bit out of character for us.

While we were planning our "sweet start," there were only a few raised eyebrows.  We have found a venue, caterer and photog that readily embraces our vision.  It was the friends and family who have surprised us the most by jumping on board with our slight break in tradition.  Despite having to be there by 8 a.m. -- most of our guests RSVPed that they wouldn't miss it.  And that is what will actually make our day special -- the guests!

First Things First . . . What Kind of Wedding?

Shortly after our engagement (okay, a little before), the groom and I started tossing out ideas about the type of wedding we want.  For us, this was a simple process.  Neither one of us are keen on the large, center of attention bashes nor are we the type to dance the night away.  So, that pretty much eliminated the dinner and dance type for the small, informal wedding.

While visiting family in the States, Mike and I opted to do a little venue shopping (with the help of his mother and aunt).  On our plane ride to Boise, we drafted a list of what we would like to see in/at/for our wedding.  This list looked a bit like this:

• Sunrise/Early morning ceremony
• Pancake reception
• DIY/Recycle/Reuse theme
• Rustic/vintage 
• Tea green? Cream? 
• Simple, low-key, informal
• Outdoor, if possible
• All inclusive, if possible
• Ceremony in a venue, not a church
• Something that doesn't take a lot of decoration
• Ideally, ceremony & reception together 

There were a few things that jumped out as definites for us, including:

1) Ceremony & Reception in Idaho
While the two of us are currently residing in Vancouver, BC, most of the groom's family live in Idaho.  Rather than make it an international destination wedding for everyone, we decided that a wedding in the Gem State would be a "gem" of an idea.

2) Morning Ceremony & Pancake Reception
Mornings are our favorite time of day.  Every weekend, we make pancakes with a homemade fruit compote and a bunch of random toppings.  This is a special tradition and one that means a lot to us.  We want to share this "sweet start" with family and as our first feast as man and wife.

3) Outdoors
The two of us met on a dragonboat and the outdoors has special meaning to both of us, individually and as a couple. 

4) Easy to No Decorations
One of our biggest restraints is that we are coordinating our "destination" wedding from our Canadian home.  We wanted something that was relatively easy to decorate ourselves (hence the DIY theme) and would be managable from another country.

Our list helped us narrow down our list of venues, lock in our vision of the wedding and prepared us to share our concept with the various vendors, property owners and coordinators.
What We Learned and Some Helpful Tips:
As recommended on every blog, forum, wedding website and free bridal booklet vendors give you, the first thing that needs to be decided after the "Oh my goodness, yes!" moment is what kind of wedding.

From church services to waterfront vows to destination weddings at a lodge, there are thousands of options, ideas or opinions on what could be done, should be done and ought to be done.  The best way to focus on what you want and what is true to your personality is to . . . make a list.

I know . . . everyone and their lists. But this will save you time and effort for you will know what it is you are looking for in a ceremony site, reception location, caterer and the style of decorations.  

While making the lists, use this time to think big, dream and collaborate.  Communicate what each of you want to see in the wedding or what is "absolute must."  Share your visions and discuss the things that would make your wedding day the Dream Day. 

Throw out ideas and put them down on a piece of paper or a shared Google document.  Then, step away from it for a couple of days.  Let the ideas sink in or transition into another great idea.  If another one occurs, right it down. 
Then the two of you should take some time, prioritize what you want, need and can't live without.  This will help you as you progress through the planning phases including setting up a budget.