Thursday, January 31, 2013

Why I Splurged On Invites

"Go easy on the invite. People read it once and toss it aside, if not in the trash." This was advice from a wedding coordinator but it echos a lot of the advice a bride-to-be will find on forums, blogs or any other wedding-dedicated site.

Even if the above is true, it was not advice I took to heart.

I will admit that invites aren't as sexy as splurging on the photobooth with props or a unique backdrop. They aren't nearly as fun as booking a four-piece rockabilly band for your reception throw down. And, more than likely, they aren't nearly as necessary as the fantastic purple heels with sparkles that spell out "I Do" on the heels. 

I'm not knocking the above as splurges and I applaud anyone who knows exactly what they need to make their big day complete.  However, I believe creating a invite should be just as important as any of the above.

The invite is more than just telling loved ones that your big day is coming and that their presence is requested at the celebration.  While it is a useful tool for communicating the pertinent information like the key players, date, location, time and type of wedding -- there is a bigger purpose.

Your invite is an announcement of the birth of a new family unit - the one between you and your partner (and children if applicable).  It is more than the day you got married -- but the day you started your marriage and new family. 
It's also the first impression that friends and family have of you and your partner as a couple -- and, in some cases, the first impression loved ones have of your partner if they have not previously met.  This is an introduction -- a grand entrance, if you will. 

It also communicates to your guests the mood of the wedding and what they can expect.  Think of it as your promotional campaign for your wedding -- promoting your big day and the following bash.  Is it a tropical-themed luau? Is it a three-course sit down reception? Should they be prepared for an outdoor ceremony in the middle of July? Is it a wedding weekend or a casual cake and champagne reception?  Casual or traditional, big or small event, the invite gives your guests a sneak peek on what they can expect from your wedding so they can plan accordingly. But more than that, it will get them excited about your marriage start!

An invite also lets the guest know what is required of them -- time and commitment wise.  Are there events booked for the entire weekend? Is it just a cocktail reception? Is there a welcome dinner for out of town guests? When should they arrive in town? How long should they stay?  Is it formal? Is it casual? Do they need their own picnic blanket? Take the guess work out of the equation and tell them what you have planned, what is optional and what they should wear to either one.
Taking the time to create a unique and very personalized invite, whether you whether you order one online or do-it-yourself with stamps, ribbons, rhinestones and cardstock, makes it SOMETHING SPECIAL to your guests.  

Think about when you have received homemade granola or a hand-crafted holiday card.  Someone took the time to work their creative side in order to give you something very personal.  It becomes an extension of them -- a personal connection to you.

Invest a bit in your invite.  Use your own words to create the text on the invite.  Go beyond just choosing a card stock in your color or selecting one of the available fonts.  Insert a bit of yourself into the invite -- more than just the name, date, location.  Own your invites.

Your guests will notice.  It will become an extension of you delivered into their inbox or mailbox.  It is a detail that will make them feel honored, special and it will become more of a momento and less of just "another invite." 

Break the mold. Get creative. It's worth it.







Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Sending Out Invites: "This is Real Moment"

DIY Wedding Invites - Wedding Announcements
One of the most important aspects of a wedding is the invite.  Whether it is a small gathering for a courthouse ceremony or an extended list for a backyard blowout shindig, it is important to invite loved ones to your event (note: an elopement is slightly different, but its still important that the key people show up). 

Whether you send it via the Internet or snail mail, there is a lot of work and planning that goes into the invite. For months we have been making plans, jotting down ideas in a spiral notebook and talking over the finer points with our parents. 

It was no wonder that I had a slight moment of panic when it finally came to mailing the handcrafted invites.

My partner and I finalized the look of the invites a few months ago, but needed to wait on a few key details before printing and assembling them. Our goal was to get them out by the end of January for our April wedding.  However, the new year meant people were looking at their calendars, asking for time off from employers and looking to make solid plans for our wedding.  We started getting information requests the first week of January and knew we needed to push forward the standard six to eight weeks before invite deadline to more like mid-January.

For about twelve days, we worked on finalizing the details, doing a mock up, changing this or adding that and building out our website so it had additional information.  While the invite may be a bit over the top, the two of us felt we had invitations that were a reflection of us and that we had fun designing.

After all of the invites had been created, stuffed into envelopes, sealed and addressed, I headed down to the local post office for the final step - mailing the invite. 

It was while I was applying the stamps to the mountain of envelopes at one of the counters that the gravity of the situation hit me. 

Sending out the invites was kicking off our wedding. This was the kick-start to our big day. This was the first impression of us as a couple, of our non-traditional event (breakfast wedding) and opening the door for others to accept or decline. This was the first time that people outside the intimate circle was going to see our vision.

But it was also more than that.  It was a "this just got real" moment for me. I was no longer planning or dreaming of what could be.  The items we had scribbled into our spiral was coming to fruition.  It was happening.  It would no longer just be me and my partner.  This was the first step into announcing the birth of our family unit.  This was us announcing to the world the beginning of our married life.

"Are these ready to go?" The girl helping me behind the counter asked as I stood staring at the stack of stamped kraft brown envelopes, each with a different family or friend's address. After a moment, I told her they were in fact ready and watched as she loaded each one into the plastic bins.   I knew it was time to let go of what was "ours" and invite others to share our new unit.

While it was a huge "check" off our wedding to-do list, it also felt like the kick start to our marriage. 

Couple of Lessons We Learned:
  • People start making vacation plans right after New Years. Even if you don't have anything finalized, consider having your Save the Dates ready to go after Christmas. Get on people's calendars and radars.
  • Consider sending an email to those living outside the state ahead to give them a heads up if you can't get the invite out right away
  • Take your invite mock to the post office to make sure it will be easy to send or trouble shoot any issues before assembling them all.  May save you some $$ on postage.


Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Aspiration vs. Inspiration: Tap Into Your Creativity This Wedding

While browsing wedding blogs and websites,  I often come across comments or forum topics where people are asking for the template for banners, programs, menus . . .you name it.  While I know that not everyone has access to Photoshop or is handy enough with scissors to cut perfect circles, I find this a bit disheartening.

I don't think weddings should be cookie cut or designed by templates.  I think websites shouldn't be used as a "how-to" guide but rather as a "fodder for future thought" bucket.

Aspiration is defined as a goal or a strong desire for achievement.  Used in context with planning a wedding, these is the eye candy you find in magazines, blogs, "real wedding" photos and idea forums.  This is what causes the "oh, pretty!" phrase to tumble from our lips.  This is what causes us to "pin it" to a board or clip it and paste it in our binders as another "must-have" for our big days.

But don't confuse this with inspiration.  Inspiration is something that generates an idea or sparks a creative slant to your project.  Inspiration can be found on those same blogs, magazines and forums.  However, it isn't the act of finding them but what happens when those images or DIY projects have time to incubate in your mind.

Every new idea is a mashup of one or more ideas.  An each idea, picture, project or decorating concept is a remix of everything you have chosen to let into your life.  As stated in the book "Steal Like an Artist" by Austin Kleon, "you can pick the music you listen to and you can pick the books you read and you can pick the movies you see . . . you are the sum of your influences."

Read the blogs, study the wedding magazines and scour through the endless forums on wedding websites.  As Kleon said, "your job is to collect good ideas.  The more good ideas you collect, the more you can choose from to be influenced by."

Then, it is necessary to let the dust settle. Step away from the influences and wedding input to allow your mind to work the ideas like a Rubix cube, flipping ideas this way and that way in an attempt to find what works for you.

Use the aspirations to add to your influences and then use the influences to inspire your creativity when it comes to reception decor or the perfect gown.  This will help you envision the wedding day of your dreams, and not the vision of the wedding industry, friends or a forum poster.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Double-Digits to the Big Day: When I Realized I Was Getting Married

One of the cons to having a countdown clock to the big day on your wedding website is that you know how far away it is until you say "I Do." 

For months, the number was in the hundreds. It felt like we were crawling towards our wedding.  The day seemed like some far off date and it was never going to get here. 

And, then it displayed "99" and the reality of our approaching wedding hit me.  We were in the double-digits and "this close" to being married. I'm getting married!

I felt a surge of what I initially thought was panic. My extremely long list of still "to-dos" popped into my head along with the items that we still have yet to work out.  But this was just a flash in a pan. A small twinge of feeling overwhelmed before the excitement quickly snipped it in the bud.

I wasn't concerned about the wedding or what needed to be done.  For me, it was a countdown to starting a married life with my partner.  In less than 100 days, I was going to make vows for the rest of my life with someone I considered my partner.  I was going to be a wife.

For me,I think the end goal of a married life was hidden from view behind designs of invites and centerpiece decisions.  Maybe it's what can be labeled as "wedding zen" or learning the true meaning of marriage.   But I feel that I am counting down towards more than a party but a new beginning.

I'm getting married.







Wednesday, January 9, 2013

To Give or Not to Give -- The Hot Debate Over Wedding Favors

During a meeting in Boise, our caterer (who has a bit of wedding coordination experience) asked the groom and I if we had thought about favors.

After a bit of stammering on my part, I finally confessed that favors were probably not going to make an appearance at our shindig for it is my believe that the whole favor thing is nothing but . . . a racket. 

That's right. I said the "r" word.  I have said this word often during my wedding planning for I feel that adding the "w" word to the event actually is nothing more than asking the vendor, company, shop or crafter to "please add money to my bottom line."

Favors is a hotly contested wedding topic.  Many people, websites, blogs and wedding personnel feel that favors are a reception "must have" for it is seen as a "thank you for coming" gesture.  To the point, that I have even heard it mentioned that the happily married couple will appear "cheap" if they fail to offer these take home goodies.

The members of the other side of the favor coin believe this is an extravagance that our overly cluttered culture could use a break from. To the extreme, some brides feel that there is no need for an added "thank you" after they have shelled out top dollar for food, drink and dancing.

Personally, I would be for favors if there was an absolutely brilliant idea on how to appeal to every age range or stage of life.  Other than the parents of the bride and groom, most people don't have a need for monogrammed dove salt and pepper shakers or the flip-flop bottle opener.  While they are happy to take part in your special day, they don't need a photo frame with the date and your name engraved on it to add to their mantel.  What about the teenagers or children attending your wedding? Do they really need the personalized pancake flipper?

The argument for this is to offer what I lovingly call the Sugar Bomb. This is the parting gift of a sweet treat for the road home, ranging from pretty packets of Jordan Almonds to the do-it-yourself candy bar (Personal Soap Box: step away from this trend and run the other direction as fast as you can in your cute kitten heels!). This extra dose of sweetness will last all of two minutes and does little more than add to the daily calorie count. Plus, what do you offer for those who are diabetic? Or those who are allergic to nuts? Personally, its too much for me to think about.

According to my caterer, "if you are planning to do favors, decided how many you need and do a 1/4 of that. If they want them, they are there. If not or they run out, at least they won't be left on the tables for cleanup crews."  

That's where the heart of my dislike for favors truly lies -- the absolute waste of product, money and time.  Those beautiful organza bags you spent big money on to add personal labels, if you are lucky, will be coming home with you.  The carefully crafted cupcakes in a jar will be left on the table and the customized "seeds of love" will lay untouched. 

However, there is hope.

According to "Bargainsita Bride - Your Dream Wedding For Less" by Aimee Manis, weddings are becoming more of a reflection of the couple, their personalities and their values.  This is being demonstrated in the ceremony decorations, reception center pieces and the personal touch that comes from the general tone of the event.

As the wedding trend shifts from the bold excess and extravagant affairs to the simple, authentic wedding, there are new avenues of offering "favors" to your guests.  The potted plants you are using for a centerpiece can go home with guests to plant in their gardens.  Making your own runners? Perhaps your aunts or cousins who host waffle parties or Thanksgiving would love to add them to their decoration bins.  Or, better yet, if you have a quilter in the family, donate the runners to their fabric stashes. 

This is a green way of "reusing" the decor from your big day that will contribute to the lives of your guests.  It will be that much more special, will help eliminate the favor waste and it won't take any more extra time to make since it is already on your to-do list.

But, if you are like me, it may be useful to see the words in large, bold print. FAVORS ARE NOT A MUST-HAVE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE FAVORS. You're guests won't miss it and everyone will enjoy the wedding -- for it is your day, a reflection of you and, in the end, that's what matters.

I'm not giving favors and I am pleased as spiked punch about it.





 

Friday, January 4, 2013

Wedding Photogs: Do You Need One & How to Pick One

Everyone has someone in their family who perpetually has a camera attached to one hand.  It doesn't matter the size or type of event, Uncle Lee or cousin Aaron is rapidly snapping images to capture the event, even if it is just the usual standard brunch.

Between the family amateurs and my former news co-workers, Mike and I have several guests who would jump at the chance to capture our wedding moments for prosperity.  In fact, I have a feeling they will take on the position and become our personal paparazzi without having to ask them.

Which brings up the question -- why would we even consider hiring a photog with such a talent pool?  Glad you asked.  There were two main reasons why we decided to go with a photog and skip the family paparazzi.

Living the Moment vs. Capturing the Moment
There are many blog postings, forums and website articles dedicated to discussing the shift in our culture that modern technology has produced.  In short, using phone or technology to capture the moment can actually pull you from the experience.  A person only has so much attention and if you want the perfect picture or an amazing shot, you are pulling your attention that direction.  Which leaves little attention for your family members to appreciate what's happening in front of the lens.  They came to see you get married and that's what they should see.   They were there in person, but they aren't experiencing in person.

Emotional Filters
I think the best example of this exists in the movie "Love Actually." There is a scene in which the character Juliet, played by Keira Knightley goes to the home of the best man, Mark (Andrew Lincoln) to ask to see his video because she wants "just one shot of me in a wedding dress that isn't bright turquoise."  When she pops in the video, it takes just a few moments to realize that ALL of the video is of HER. As it turns out, Mark was in love with Juliet and that was transferred to the filter of his camera.

A less exaggerated example would be one of my friends who, when on vacation, takes a lot of pictures of flowers and his food.  He loves his macro capabilities on his camera and that is what he loves to document.  It's not the architecture or landscape for he doesn't see things through a wide lens but rather up-close and in detail. 

Family and friends have the same emotional filters. While they are there for your big day, they may view the event through different eyes and will have a slightly different focus when it comes to capturing the big day.  It can be as small as following either just the bride or groom around to taking close-ups of the wildflower centerpieces. 

Choosing a Photog
A photographer is there to work their craft and creatively capture your wedding day.  They don't have an emotional filter or tie to the people in the pictures.  They aren't there to experience your big day.  They are there to capture it.  Their position outside of the event and family circle gives them a wider lens to preserve the memories of those inside the moment.  

That being said, there are a few key things to keep in mind when picking the photog:

Style
There are essentially three styles of wedding photography:

1) Formal or Traditional
These are color, posed photos of you and your partner, the family along with the typical shots of the cake cutting, bouquet and garter toss.

2) Photojournalistic
Your wedding is shot like a news event, capturing candid moments as they happen on a digital chip.

3) Artistic
The photog uses special effects to create a more dramatic photo. Often times, this may be in the editing process such as borders, tinting, over-exposure, etc.

Work
Do your homework when searching for a photog.  Seek out recommendations from friends, family or even online. Many wedding websites have vendor reviews for those in your area.  Visit the photogs website and look through their online gallery.  However, note that these are often the polished or more artistic captures.  

Personalities
This person will be following you around the ENTIRE day, capturing you in candid moments. It is vital to make sure you feel comfortable with the photog or else you will just feel stilted all day -- and that does transfer to the image. 

Budget
I have heard it is important to go with a rockstar photog, even if this means adjusting your budget a bit.  A rockstar photog can make any wedding look like the event of the century and any bride look glamorous.  However, many "packages" include albums, certain amount of hours, etc.  Go for the glam, but make sure you are getting what YOU NEED and not some predetermined package that is over-the-top in delivery and price.  

In short, find out what matters to you -- be it budget or style -- and find the photog that fits your ideal. 

The photog Mike and I choose provided clients with ALL of the high-res digital photos. This was important to us for we want to create our own scrapbook about the ENTIRE wedding event. We want to include the DIY crafting, our history, the story of our rings, etc . . . not just our big day.  That was important to us and we found a photog who we meshed with, would capture the moments and give them to us in their entirety. 

Happy hunting!





Wednesday, January 2, 2013

New Year -- Time to Plan a Wedding

As we rang in the new year, Mike and I became one of the many lucky couples who will be married this year. He gleefully shared this realization on his Facebook wall shortly after the new year dawned.

But reality kicked in the next morning. The magical date that seemed so far away when we picked it in August all of a sudden seemed awfully close.  109 days to be exact.  That's about three and a half months to scratch items off the extensive to-do list that we have spent the past four months generating.   

In short -- panic ensued.

According to an insert by Kayce Hazelgrove in "A Practical Wedding" book by Meg Keene, Mike and I have entered the third phase of wedding planning -- the "How the Hell?" phase in which we wonder exactly how it is going to be possible to get the wedding together in such a short amount of time.

To put it in perspective, it took us about three weeks to design, create and mail our holiday cards and they are only a fraction of the time commitment that our DIY wedding invites will have, not to mention the other "to make" items.  This thought only added fuel to the fire.

Much like resolutions, Mike and I chose to approach the wedding planning as a goal.   We know what needs to happen by our big day, it was just a matter of breaking it down into manageable chunks.   It is our hope that the manageable chunks will make the list a bit less daunting and not quite so overwhelming.

Since loved ones were contacting us regarding specifics about the wedding day, we knew that invites were a priority.  The two of us laid out a schedule to get the labor intensive craft project done by the end of the month.

In the mean time, I decided to use spare down time to work on projects that could be done a bit further out than the last moment, like the brooch bouquet and designing the program.

Each day, I jotted a "wedding item" into my to-do list, like wiring the brooches or finding three songs for our iPod list.  At the end of the day, I was able to scratch an item off my daily to-do list and we were one step closer to knocking out our wedding list.

It was having a course of action that helped keep us on track on focused on the goal.  It also helped that the two of us are working on the projects together. It felt more like couple bonding and less like an overwhelming task list.

So, here's to 2013 . . . and our upcoming wedding . . . one step at a time.