Monday, April 29, 2013

Our Vows

"What was your favorite moment?" asked one of Mike's cousins the day after our wedding. Without hesitation, Mike responded enthusiastically with two words - "The vows."

So, per a request from several other family members, below is the text from our ceremony (all five minutes of it!):

LISA:
Friends, we are gathered here this morning to celebrate and witness the joining of Michael Lee Sachtjen and Alisha Lynn Manlove in marriage, and to be with them in the making of this important new step in their lives together.


While I am standing here, honored to lead this joyous occasion, it is not me, or a public official or member of the clergy who marries you. Only you can marry each other by your mutual commitment of love to each other, your consideration and respect for each other, and by your willingness to face the joys and challenges of life together as husband and wife.

The essence of this commitment is the joining with another person in his or her entirety as lover, companion, and friend. Marriage symbolizes this intimate yet public sharing of two lives.

We are here today, then, to celebrate the love that Mike and Weegee have for each other, and to give social and legal recognition to their decision to accept each other totally and permanently. Into this state of marriage these two individuals come now to be united.

Weegee has requested a moment to address her mother and the mother of the groom.



<<At this point, Weegee separated her "breakaway brooch bouquet" and said a few improv but heartfelt comments to both her mother (Judith) and Mike's mom (Cecelia).  Then she went back to standing next to Mike.>>

Mike, could you please take Weegee's hand and tell her your thoughts on this day?

MIKE:
Alisha, Weegee, Manlove, my Panda,

We have gone from bench mates, to drinking buddies, to best friends, to partners. Each step has not replaced the last, but has added richness to our lives. We have had many wonderful adventures together, learned to trust one another, became each others greatest supporters, and fell in love each other.

You brighten my day when you share yours.

You encourage me when I'm held back by self doubt.

You make it OK for me to be me when I worry what others may think.

Today, we add to the list of titles that of husband and wife, but it does not replace the other titles.  You are still my greatest adventure buddy, my best friend and my partner through life.

Nor is the final title we will bestow upon each other.  I look forward to the day that we become business partner, igloo inhabitants, season ticket holders, nursing home roommates, or whatever title goes with whatever adventure we haven't even thought up yet.

I promise to encourage you because I have seen you do great things.

I promise to support you because together we're capable of so much more.

I promise to listen to you and talk to you because through communication comes understanding, and through understanding intimacy.

I promise to trust you because you've never let me down and I know your heart is always in the right place.

Above all, I promise to love you.

I love you.  I want to marry you.

LISA:
Weegee, please hold Mike's hands and tell him your thoughts today.

WEEGEE:
Michael Lee Sachtjen -- My Dragon

As you stated, we have traveled from benchmates to beer buddies to best friends and finally to partners. 

Today, happily, we once again update our relationship status. This time to husband and wife.  All these transitions were made possible because you love me just the way I am.  With you, I can just be me. 

With that, I promise to always be real with you, up front and honest. Even if it would be easier to fake it.

I promise to live in the moment and not rely on past reactions. To share my thoughts, feelings and insecurities with you and listen with an open heart and mind when you do the same.

I promise to laugh at your jokes or when you growl like a bear.  Not because it's the nice thing to do as your wife, but because I will always think that you’re the funniest boy I know.

I promise to be your co-pilot for all future adventures and inspire you to reach out beyond your comfort zone - whether it is your culinary ambitions or our shared bed and breakfast vision.

I promise to always sit hip to hip with you in the pubs. Not because you have a better view of the Canucks game.  But because I want you to know that I’m thrilled to have you there with me. Always, Bear.

I promise to work every day to be the woman you deserve. To hold your hand when things are easy peasy lemony squeezy and when they're difficult, difficult lemony difficult.

And finally, you are my dragon. You have made me feel treasured, cherished, protect and loved. I promise to always make you feel the same.

I love you. I want to marry you.

LISA:
The wedding ring is the most instantly recognizable symbol of marriage -- the circle of the band symbolizing eternity. Both Mike and Weegee have been wearing their rings around their necks in anticipation of this day when they will place the rings forever on each other's fingers.

<<During the above, Mike and Weegee took the rings off the necklaces that they had been wearing for eight months.>>

Mike, please present the ring you have for Weegee.

Will you  Michael, promise that from this day onward  Weegee will be your wife? Will you promise to laugh with her when times are good and endure with her when they are hard? Will you pledge to her your respect and your love?

MIKE:
I will.    <<He places the ring on Weegee's finger.>>

LISA: 
Weegee, please present the ring you have for Mike.

Will you  Alisha, promise that from this day onward  Mike will be your husband? Will you promise to laugh with him when times are good and endure with her when they are hard? Will you pledge to him your respect and your love?

WEEGEE:
I do . . . I will . . . I do . . . <<Weegee was confused as to what was asked of her thanks to a conversation the night before with Becky Gerlach and Kristie Veith.  They mentioned the scene from "Princess Bride" about whether the love interest said "I do" or not and that it doesn't count if you don't say "I do." >>

LISA:
I think you are covered.

<<Weegee places the ring on Mike's finger.>>

LISA:
May these two people, now married, fulfill this commitment to each other. May they openly give and take from each other, encouraging each other's successes, sharing in each other's joys, and helping each  other in times of trouble. 

We who are present, and those who are absent thinking of these two people, hope that the inspiration of this moment will never be forgotten. And we pledge to support this couple as they forge their new lives together.

It is now my great pleasure to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Sachtjen.

<<Bride and Groom kiss and strut through the chapel to exit out the front doors.>>

"The bride and groom are going to take a few moments to themselves before doing a short photo shoot with their photographer. Please feel free to get a fill up on your beverages, walk the grounds or sign the guest canvases. Breakfast is on at 10 a.m."

Thursday, April 25, 2013

It Takes a Village . . . to Hold a Wedding (AKA: Thank You!)

Mike and I returned home from our whirlwind wedding adventure to the States on Tuesday afternoon.  We unloaded our rental car but I resisted my obsessive compulsive habit of unpacking everything right away.  It wasn't because I was dead-dog tired, although that would have been applicable.  It wasn't because I had other important issues to contend with, such as lavishing the furry critter with love and attention.

I think my new mother-in-law said it best, "I hate the packing up after the event. It means it's over." To take all of our carefully crafted signs out of the wooden picture frames or cart the milk bottle vases back to the grocery store would be saying that the wedding is over. Complete. El Fin.

Photo Courtesy: Aly Shoji
It's approaching one week since I vowed to become Mike's wife, and I am still gushing about our trip to the altar. A smile lights up my face as I recall walking into the reception area to see 90 of our closets friends and family diving into pancakes smothered in goodies and Canadian maple syrup. I get a bit choked up at the thought of our five minute (it felt like 30) wedding ceremony.  And I can't help but laugh at the memory of all the kids on paddle boats in the middle of the lake.

As I stated before, there really are two things that make a wedding day: success and special.  At the end of Saturday, or rather before noon, I was able to call myself Mrs. Sachtjen.  That's success in my book and a huge check next to the "Get Married" item on our eight-month long wedding to-do list.

What made it special was all of the people who attended, helped or even supported our union from afar.  It's touching and a bit humbling to know the lives you have touched and those who want to be part of your next chapter.

Mike and I, the shy introverts we are, are not big on speeches. It took all we had to share our vows that morning.  However, there were several people that we needed to thank for it does take a lot of help, assistance and support from loved ones to pull off a successful and special wedding.

Photo Courtesy of Aly Shoji
That being said, here is a huge shout out to those who helped us on our wedding day. While listing their name doesn't do the following people justice as to how much they contributed to our "sweet start", we like to think of it as the credits at the end of a big production - they all played a vital role, no matter how small**:
  • John and Cecelia Sachtjen
  • Robert Sachtjen
  • Charles and Judith Manlove
  • Heidi Manlove
  • Lisa Morrison
  • Nancy and Lynn Hyslop
  • Norma and Kevin Petty
  • Mary and Ron Ferguson
  • Dawn and Brian Vezzoso
  • Aaron and Christin
  • Georgie Holton
  • Carin & Drew Lahr
And the numerous people who helped with clean up efforts, including the Shoji's (east and west), Ellen Sachtjen, Rich Peters and the Hyslops.

I would also like to offer a shout out to our vendors:

And last, but not least, we wish to thank all of our family and friends who traveled near and far to witness our special day! We appreciate all that you did or sacrificed to make our wedding day special. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!


** If I missed someone, please contact me. Even as I typed this I feel like I overlooked something. Any omission is absolutely accidental and I apologize ahead of time.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Wedding Go Time!

We're getting married this week!

Over the weekend, Mike and I got his shoes shined, got my hair cut, put final touches on our vows and distributed the revised edition of our "day of" schedule.  By Saturday afternoon, we had accomplished all we could from our home in Canada.  All that remains is the final prep on Friday for our Saturday wedding.

Friends and family have been asking if we are stressed, nervous or excited. They want to know where we are going into the final week before our marriage.

The event we have spent the last eight months discussing and planning is about to happen and there is that part of me that is sayin, "bout damn time!" I can't wait until I can plan something other than a wedding.  I want a weekend that isn't chalked full of printing signs, pictures or programs. It will be nice to look ahead beyond our wedding date.  I'm not saying it has been hard or difficult. For the most part, it has been a fun experience that the two of us shared.  But it's like watching the same show everyday for eight months -- eventually you just need to change the channel.

That's where the excitement comes in for me.  As of 9:20 a.m. this Saturday, Mike and I will be starting our marriage together.  We will be focusing on our goal of one day opening a bed and breakfast together.  We will encourage our personal passions, such as writing and cooking, as we go forward as a family unit. Our planning will be more rounded and have a much larger picture than one fast-approaching day.

There's a bit of nerves there as we will be hosting two events with over 80 people. As introverts, we have been extremely cautious about approaching this as a laid-back, low-key backyard pancake feed with a small ceremony thrown in for fun.  By eliminating the center stage that weddings tend to create, or at least reducing it in our minds, the whole weekend seems manageable.  I'm sure there will be stress, tantrums and things that don't go as planned. 

As we prepare to leave Canada to kick start our wedding trip, I can't help but think we are in the right place.  The wedding zen as they call it.  It's the final push. We've done what we can. We're focused not necessary on the event but what it means as the start of another chapter of us. 

I'm ready. Let's do it. 





Sunday, April 14, 2013

Why Morning Weddings Aren't Popular (Or Why We Wanted a Morning Wedding)

I spend a lot of my downtime reading articles about leadership, business and optimism.  One of concepts that all of these resources share is the theme of taking back the mornings. This "mind over mattress" belief is that each morning is a new beginning. It is a way for one to carve out extra time to focus their sights on the daily agenda and future goals.

And to us, it was the perfect time of day to get married.

During our venue shopping visit to Idaho, we had a bit of a rough start convincing people of our vision.  We would mention breakfast reception -- but the reception hall or catering vendor would remark about how they enjoy champagne brunches.  One of my favorite responses was that it would be a neat idea to have pancakes for dinner. 

They're not alone.  Morning weddings are not overly popular. While the time of day limits the amount of alcohol guests will consume, it also somewhat limits your menu choices.  Reception halls and catering bills may be a bit cheaper -- but the trick is finding someone who wants to get up and make sure the donuts are laid out by 7:30 a.m. for the morning "coffee hour." Also, you will be able to find a styling company to hang the paper lanterns, lay out the organza runners on the tables and expertly place the burlap banners -- but getting them to do it at 5 a.m. on Saturday morning may cost a bit more then your evening bridal counterparts.

From a guest standpoint, it means getting up freakishly early to watch a twenty-minute ceremony.  Several brides on wedding forums and blogs have said that they wouldn't attend a morning wedding even if their own sister was tying the knot. 

However, it's actually the wedding party that are not fond of the morning weddings, for these reasons:

* Hard to find hairstylist or makeup person will to get to work before 7 a.m. Thus, you have to have a friend into hair or be willing to go minimalistic . . . on your wedding day.

* More often than not, due to the hour, the bride and groom become the decorating party. Instead of a slow, relaxing, pampered day until your event, you're hanging the paper lanterns and stringing up the banners.  Translated: your decorations need to be a bit simple for you only have a few hours to get it together.

* It's not the dance-a-thon of traditional weddings.  I think many people love the idea of the dinner/cocktails and dance blow out bashes.  Morning weddings are a bit more low-key due to the time of day, internal clocks and nature of the event.  You may be hard pressed to find anyone willing to hit the dance floor at 10:30 a.m.

* You have to get up freakishly early to get ready, prep the venue and then get into "bridal" mode.  Say 3:30 or 4 a.m. -- if you're lucky.

So, morning weddings aren't popular.  They move up the timeframe of the day, you're guests are pretty much done by noon and the wedding party is ready for bed by 5 p.m.  

And that sounds perfect to us.  

I think it would be torture to wait all day long to exchange vows when we can get up and make a fresh start to our marriage. 

Mike and I are also low-maintenance people -- I am not doing a whole lot for makeup and hair.  It would make me more self-conscious than add to the moment.

The two of us are also not keen on dancing and are usually in bed by 8:30 p.m. The idea of planning a late night dance reception seemed a bit out of character for us.

While we were planning our "sweet start," there were only a few raised eyebrows.  We have found a venue, caterer and photog that readily embraces our vision.  It was the friends and family who have surprised us the most by jumping on board with our slight break in tradition.  Despite having to be there by 8 a.m. -- most of our guests RSVPed that they wouldn't miss it.  And that is what will actually make our day special -- the guests!


Thursday, April 11, 2013

Wedding DIY: Breakaway Brooch Bouquet

I believe DIY crafters have patience, an eye for the finished product and perseverance.  While doing our DIY for the wedding, there were several times when I knew those qualities were not my strongest suits.

During my research, I fell in love with the idea of creating a brooch bouquet for our wedding.  The basic design includes creating "stems" out of wire and attaching brooches, which are inserted into fabric hydrangeas.   They are sparkly, won't wilt during the day and are the perfect keepsake of your wedding day.   Plus, it is one of those things that you can create well in advance of your wedding day.


"Making a brooch bouquet is quite the DIY project!  It takes patience and creativity.  But it is a worthy endeavor.  Especially when you are ready to walk down the aisle carrying a beautiful brooch bouquet of your own making," according to the "How to Design a Brooch Bouquet" post on Fancy Pants Wedding.com. 

It was the instructions included in the above posting that I followed when attempting to create my own bouquet -- with a couple of stylistic changes.

First of all, she suggested using 55 brooches.  While this adds a whole lot of glam factor, it was a bit large and in charge.  I actually used only 16 brooches. I only wanted to highlight a few brooches and opted for a more simple look.

And secondly, my vision included a breakaway option.  Traditionally, the bride tosses her bridal bouquet to a crowd of single females who dive, push, shove and tackle one another to be the next one to walk down the aisle. Some brides have ordered two bouquets from their florist - one for tossing, one for keeping. 

A new twist is to have a breakaway -- a bouquet that is actually several small ones gathered together.  When the tossing comes up, the bride flings all six bouquets at once.

While Mike and I aren't participating in the tossing tradition, I did want two separate heirloom brooch bouquets (the reason which can't be revealed at this time). So, how does one go about creating that? Well, it goes back to the patience and creativity.

I started out following the blogs instructions by attaching the wire to each brooch.  I then twirled the corsage tape down the wire twice.  (Note: Her tip about the tape sticking best when gently pulled is a great one.  It's the only way to get it to stick.

Then, I split the finished brooches into two groups.  Holding one of the hydrangeas in my hand, I inserted one groups of the wired pieces one at a time.  When that was done, I wrapped each bunch from bottom to bouquet with the corsage tape and repeated with the second grouping. 



Once this was done, I wrapped the two stems with ribbons.



Well, then I needed something to hold the two stems, give them a bit of rigidity and "mask" the fact that there were two of them.  My inspiration came from the fact that we had finished a roll of paper towels.   So, I "reused" the roll and decorated with ribbons and decor from our wedding.







While I don't think it turned out as glamorous or professional looking as the one featured on the blog, I have to say that I was a bit impressed with what I was able to do.  Patience may not be my strong suit -- and I may get frustrated with the process . . . but may there is a crafter in all of us.



Resources:

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Times Have Changed . . . The Price Of Weddings These Days

"Times have changed . . . I have proof!"

That was the name of the email I received from my future mother-in-law a couple of week's ago.  She was sifting through some of her keepsakes for vintage dresses and items to donate to the county museum when she stumbled upon her wedding budget and list of expenses from 1970. She worked as a secretary and saved every penny to pay for her wedding.

Recently, TheKnot.com and WeddingChannel.com's revealed the average price tag for weddings.  According to the Real Weddings Study, the average amount spent on a wedding in 2012 was $28,427.  According to the report, couples dropped more green than they have in the previous four years IN ALL aspects of the big day.

The report also revealed that "the average wedding spend per guest increased to $204, as compared to $196 in 2011 and even $194 in 2009. In fact, about 1 in 8 brides (13%) are spending more than $40,000 on their nuptials, and nearly 1 in 4 (23%) didn't even have a budget."

Where is the green going? Venue, dress, ring and photog are the big expenses.  But with that surge in "per guest" spending, it's really in the tiny details such as favors, rehearsal dinners, shoes and invites.

So how does my budget, my mother-in-laws wedding day expenses and the average cost from the survey stack up against one another?  Below is a table -- please note that not all costs are represented.



As you can see -- it's a matter of choice as to wear you funnel your money.  Our budget for the rehearsal dinner pretty much doubles the going average.  In our case, it makes sense. Mike and I  live in Canada and getting down to the states is a bit difficult.  We wanted to maximize the time spent with friends and family during our brief stay in Idaho.  That being said, our entire wedding guest list was invited to attend both the reception and the rehearsal dinner.

I admire my future mother-in-law for paying her own way down the aisle.  I think it was partly due to that experience and the fact that this is her son that she offered to help with the reception dinner.  It is something I GREATLY appreciate.

Bottom line: Live within your budget, focus on the points that mean the most to you and appreciate the monetary gifts that family members give you for the special day. The important thing is that it is an event that you as the happy couple enjoys and reflects your personality and values.

The final price tag doesn't reflect the heart, connections and love you will share that day.


* Includes cake; nuts; mints; punch; disposable plates, forks and engraved napkins; and hall rent
**Includes all outfit elements
***Includes the bar budget

Resources:
Real Weddings Study

Sunday, March 31, 2013

iPod Wedding DJ with Remote!

For most of the wedding planning adventure, I have felt like a fish out of water.  I have been thrust into the world of taffeta vs tulle, one or two layer crinoline and centerpieces for round vs. rectangle tables. I have forged through decisions surrounding favors, programs and theme colors.

Most of the above experiences have been a learning process -- and a few involved learning from mistakes.  Which is why I was so proud to find one area that I could rock without having to do heavy research -- setting up my iTouch as a remote to control iTunes on my laptop for the reception.

While most venues have the option to hook up your iPod via audio cable to the in-house sound system or a docking station, this means that your iPod is just hanging out somewhere. To adjust the audio or change songs, you have to go to the set-up/station and manually adjust it.

One of the common tips I have found on websites and blogs as a warning for brides wanting to use an iPod in lieu of a DJ for the wedding reception is to have a music bouncer.  This role is to keep guests from adjusting or crashing the wedding playlist.

I have also heard that even if you have the iPod hooked up to the house/venue sound system, one must be sure to turn off the "clicks" so that they aren't heard over the system.


DJ Own Wedding - iPod Wedding List
Turning your iPhone or iTouch into a remote SOLVES all of the above.  There is a bit more of a setup for you're not just hooking up your iPod to a sound/speaker system.  But it does allow you to adjust the audio and change songs without being near the speaker system.  Because you are only controlling the computer, there's no audio clicks when you engage your iPod/iPhone.  It also means YOU keep the control within your reach.

Oh! And it can be done at ANY venue that lets you hook up an iPod to their sound system.  Benefits are quite priceless.

What Do You Need:
  • Laptop with iTunes & Wedding Playlist
  • iTouch/iPhone
  • Wi-Fi Router (but it doesn't need to have/provide internet access)
  • a "can-do" attitude
Initial Set-Up & Testing: approx 45 minutes
Day of Set-up: 5 - 10 minutes

1) Wedding Playlist & iTunes on a Laptop/iPad
More than likely, you already have this step completed.  Most people have iTunes on their laptop.  Create a wedding playlist with your favorite songs and you are golden.  If you don't have iTunes installed, go ahead. It's easy and then upload/add/sync your current playlist from your iPod/iPhone.

2) Get the Remote App for you iTouch/iPad/iPhone
Here's where the magic happens.  Remote controlling iTunes from your iPod touch or iPhone has its advantages. Like, it could help you easily shuffle songs, adjust the volume and CAN WORK ANYWHERE in the wifi router area!  It basically eliminates the need to be at your computer to manage iTunes or leave your iPod where people can manipulate your playlist.

So I'm not recreating the wheel -- here are easy step-by-step instructions! FOLLOW THEM TO THE "T"!


ipod wedding - turn iphone into remote
3) Hook up your computer to a radio/speaker system
This is where the boom comes in.  We are just using the music for background noise, so we don't need a huge system.  Our living room radio, which we use to pump up hockey games, will do nicely for adding some specialized music to the background.  Using a audio cord, we hooked up my computer to the speaker system.  Check!

This is also where you would just hook up your computer to the inhouse/venue sound system via an audio cable.  

Extra Tip:
Set a password on your computer!  This will prevent anyone gaining access to the playlist. Or accessing anything you don't want peeps to see. Plus, honestly, it's good practice.

4) Set your laptop to avoid going into hibernation when you close the lid.  To do this,simply right click your desktop, go to Properties.Proceed to the screen saver tab, and then the Advanced button under the power settings section.In that option window, in one of the tabs, you will get selections such as "When I push the power button on my computer: _______" in one of the tabs usually around that option there will be something called "When I close the lid of my computer: _________". Here you want to select "Do Nothing".

5) Set Speaker Max Volume
Set the sound system to make volume.  In the Remote app on the iTouch/iPhone, you should then be able to adjust the audio up and down -- but it won't go above the setting of the speaker system.

6) Tweak "Cross-Fade" and Check "Sound Check" Options
On your computer and in the iTunes app, go to Edit and then Preferences.  Under "Playback", you should be able to adjust the "Cross-Fade" (which lengthens or reduces the down time between songs".  The "Sound Check" helps to stablize the audio level during playback.

7)  Plug in the Wi-Fi Router
This is used so that the computer and the device can talk to one another.  If you have data or a 3G card, this may not be necessary.  And you don't need to connect it to Ethernet or a phone line.  It just needs to be on so the two devices can talk to one another.

8) You are Golden!
You should now have your entire iTunes library in your Remote app. You can choose a song, and it automatically starts playing in iTunes on your computer. You should be able to adjust the audio.  AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE NEAR IT to do either of those.  Plus, you don't have to assign one of the bridesmaids or groomsmen as music guards.

Plus -- you will be able to do the same thing for your backyard barbecues, game nights with friends or even just hanging at the house.  It really is quite awesome.

A few reminders:
1) You need the wi-fi router.
2) iTunes should be opened on the computer. The REMOTE app does not start the program.

Now, get your groove on!

Resources:

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Timelines? (Or How I Found Out We Were Having a Non-Traditional Wedding)

I will admit. Getting married is kind of like going back to school for your masters in a completely unrelated major. I have expanded my vocabulary when it comes to wedding dress and runner fabric.  I have become trained in the fine details of vows, ring exchange and the official "declaration" or "I do."
I've learned a lot.  I may never use the vat of knowledge on how to arrange centerpieces for round tables versus rectangle. But it's there.

So, when vendors started asking me for a day of timeline, I drew a blank. To me, it was simple:

Day of timelines are as exciting as they sound. They are an outline of your wedding day, jotted down on paper and given to vendors so they can determine what their requirements are for the big day. Everyone from the photographer to the caterer to the DJ want to know what you are doing and when so they can determine what they should have done by when.   Usually, this fun little document is little more than an Excel sheet with times, events and the necessary people involved.

Staring at my blank excel sheet felt like nuptial algebra in which I didn't understand the numbers, letters and what they were supposed to represent or equal when it comes to eating pancakes at 10 a.m.
I stumbled upon a blog entry that I believe would shine a light on the situation. Actually, I really thought I was going to cut and paste the timeline right into my own picture-fancy document for it was called "(Almost) Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Creating a Wedding Timeline"! They even had a segment on "Early Morning Weddings" in the third installment of the series, which showed:
  • 7:00am—Hair and makeup starts
  • 8:30am—Vendors arrive/Setup starts
  • 9:00am—First look and couple’s portraits
  • 9:30am—Family pictures
  • 9:30am—Guests begin to arrive
  • 10:00am—Invite time
  • 10:15 am—Ceremony starts
  • 10:45am—Ceremony concludes
  • 10:45am—Cocktail “hour” starts/Additional family photos
  • 11:30am—Brunch starts
  • 12:15pm—Toasts
  • 1:00pm—First dance
  • 1:30pm—Cake cutting/Dessert
  • 2:45pm—Couple departs
  • 3:00pm—Guests depart
  • 3:00pm—Breakdown commences
  • 4:00pm—All vendors out
According to A Practical Wedding blog, what you really need to make the wedding day magic happen is some basic organization.  "A well-planned wedding timeline makes guests feel taken care of, and when they feel taken care of, they're more likely to roll with the non-traditional plan."

I was overwhelmed and worn out just reading through a sample day of a theoretical early morning wedding. One of the tips many newlywedded brides offer to those about to march down the aisle is to make sure you have a friend, bridemaid or family member there to give you drinks, make sure you eat and carry Chapstick. I couldn't imagine what happened on one's wedding day to completely blow out one's ability to care for oneself. 

Well, now I know. It comes from packing in a day with events, photo opps and squeezing in socializing where you can.  After taking a look at the times and events, my estimation of the time spent mingling with people came to just under two hours.  If your wedding guest list is sixty, that would be under two minutes per guest. Maybe I'm not all that bad at wedding algebra after all.

For us, this just wouldn't do.  Whether it is the Idaho-based clan, family that traveled from afar or our friends from the Portland area, Mike and I see our wedding as an event where we get married and socialize with all the people who mean the most to us but only see perhaps once a year since our move to Canada.

It was at that moment that I realized we were hosting a non-traditional wedding.  Our day wasn't dictated by events but by people.  With a morning wedding, we have less time to do the pre-pampering. In fact, we are going to use that time to decorate the venue.  Instead of waiting until the ceremony for guests to see us, we are going to share that excitement with guests. We aren't doing a wedding cake or the usual dance reception. We're not opposed to people making toasts, but we don't have a wedding party to support this tradition. While we are planning some one-on-one time with the photographer, we prefer the candid shots over the poses.  We didn't care much about hitting time cues but rather the organic flow of the event.

When it comes to creating a timeline, it really comes down to where you want to maximize time and what would be okay to simply cross of the list.  Want more time with guests? You may have to shorten up the photo shoot or reduce the time it takes to wrangle people for the cake cutting.  Or cut it out all together.

So, here is our timeline:
4 a.m. Wake up/Get Ready
5:30 a.m. Leave for Venue/Post Direction Signs
6 - 7:45 a.m. Venue decorating
7:45 a.m. Mike and Weegee get into costume
8 a.m. Guests arrive for donut mixer
8 a.m. Pre-Wedding Photos with immediate family
8:30 a.m. Join guests for donuts!
8:50 a.m. Sister rings chapel bell
9:00 a.m.Ceremony begins
9:20 a.m. Ceremony ends/Guests free to wander grounds
9:20 a.m. Weegee and Mike regroup
9:25 a.m. Quick Photo Shoot with Mike & Weegee
9:45 a.m. We rejoin guests!
10 a.m.  Pancake Feed is on!
1 - 1:30 p.m. Clear out decorations
2 p.m. Tap house for drinks in wedding gear

Yeah. That's it. The important things are represented: donuts, ceremony, pancakes and guests.  That's perfect for us.

Resources:




Wednesday, March 20, 2013

My Dress Is In The Mail!

This morning, I woke to find an email in my inbox that alerted me to the fact that my dress was en route to our Canada home. I was filled with a sense of excitement for I was going to see my wedding dress for the first time.

I started my wedding dress shopping the way most people shop for any large investment - by scouring the Internet.  I was quickly overwhelmed by all the decision that go into a simple dress. My lack of fashion knowledge was revealed when I had to learn the difference between A-Line and mermaid.  I was a fish out of water when I had to navigate the choices between satin, tulle and organza fabrics.

But what really had me stuck was the white thing.  For one, white is one of the colors that I can't make look good.   I live in Canada and I don't go outside without a heavy lather of sunscreen. Both of which greatly impacts my pale skin tone.

For two, I'm not fond of the color.  I lean towards bold colors, vintage prints or the ever popular black.  White is an accent color in my wardrobe and I just don't see myself getting married in that color.

A friend of mine told me a story about talking to a dress maker in Italy.  She went into the store to question her about the color of a gorgeous maroon-ish dress that was in the window.  The store owner told my friend that was a work in progress for a customer's wedding.

"It is my belief that a wedding dress should be whatever color the bride wants to be married in. It's her and the day that makes it a wedding gown. Not the color of it. Wear what you want. It's still going to be your wedding dress and you'll be more comfortable in it," the store owner explained.

Sarah Jessica Parker wore black when she married Matthew Broderick in 1997.  Elizabeth Taylor wore yellow the first time she married Richard Burton in 1964 and green when they re-married in 1975. 


Most of my searches for wedding dresses with color turned up "blush" (soft pink) or white gowns with highlights of color.  While pretty, these were just a bit too . . . subtle.  I wanted color.  Bold colors like this Pinterest board by Off Beat Bride.

I adjusted my search criteria, taking out "wedding" and I put in "rockabilly" and "swing" -- and that's how I found my dress.

The Soda Pop Dress Shoppe is an Etsy.com shop that specializes in handmade 1950s rockabilly swing dresses made to your specifications (fabric choice, addition of details, side slit pockets, invisible zippers).The owner, Kristen Strakusek, makes the dresses from her home in Illinois.  With a love for 50s fashion, Strakusek started making her own dresses after growing tired of seeing other girls wearing the same thing. In short, she was a girl after my own heart!

A short time on her site was all it took for me to find the dress I wanted.  The Soda Pop Dress with contrasting fabric bow was perfect! 

I wasted little time contacting Kristen and asking if she would in fact be available to make my wedding dress. I stressed that I don't want it to be in white but rather a fun pattern with green, yellow, white and brown in it.

Kristen emailed me a variety of pattern fabrics in the colors I requested and I picked one that I thought looked fun.  With Mike's assistance, I emailed Kristen my measurements and fabric choice. She sent me information on the type of petticoat to purchase to give the gown extra flair (yeah, had to research this also) -- which I did promptly.

Then, I began the waiting period.


During this entire process, I never stepped foot into a dress shop. I didn't even try on one bridal gown while searching for a dress.  While I missed out on the excitement this process can offer a bride or the bonding she may have the friends who accompany her, I think this was for the best.

I get highly discouraged easily for clothes fit me awkwardly. I have a short torso, wide hips and shoulders and freakishly long arms and legs.  Clothing shopping, of any kind, only helps to highlight those issues to me.  More than likely, I would have purchased the first one that "came close" or was "good enough" because I would be done with the experience before I found the right one.

By choosing to have a dress custom made for me, I don't have to worry that the shoulders won't be broad enough or the bust big enough.  The dress, in bold color, will be tailored to my awkward body before I even tried it on.  Win-win.

With this morning's email, my wait is nearing an end and I will finally get to try on a wedding dress -- mine own personal, customized gown! 

I can't wait!

***Update: I wrote this blog about four hours too soon! I got the dress in the mail today and all I can say is WOW! I am super-excited to wear this on my big day and can not wait to wear it!  





Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Why Every Wedding Is a Success in My Book!


In some of my recent posts, I have mentioned "a wedding is a wedding" or that "all weddings are different" -- but I wanted to elaborate a bit more on this idea.

On December 12, my friend Georgie and her long-time beau David tied a knot with a Justice of the Peace in a private ceremony in Texas.  She picked out a dress and found a beautiful bouquet to hold during the short ceremony in a public park. 

On December 21, Mike's friend Karri married another mutal friend, Andrew, in a dinner and dance reception at a double-story venue owned and operated by a local brewery.  There were elements of tradition, white dress and a fancy tuxedo with a beautiful blue and purple theme, but it was a laid-back affair with ornament-making stations and a photo booth.

Mike and I are somewhere in between.  We are having a small wedding with friends and family that is more along the lines of a pancake feed. None of our linens are going to match and our outfits were picked for the fun of it rather than because they matched. 

While the two weddings, and our upcoming event, are wildly different from one another -- they all share two important elements:
1) Success: At the end of the day, all six people of the three couples married the person they adored.

2) Special: It was the perfect ceremony for each couple, their personalities and comfort levels.

I think a recent blog post on Offbeat Bride said it best with "We're all awesome, beautiful, wonderful brides planning celebrations — we're just throwing different parties."

To that end, it is easy to get wrapped up in the WIC (Wedding Industry Complex) of what has to be in the wedding and what you should be doing for guests.  There are times when discussing our event we feel like we are straying a bit too far from the whole wedding formula.  There is always that voice of doubt that perhaps you are just plain flat out doing the whole thing wrong. Sometimes these voices are blared through the bullhorn of wedding blogs or magazines.  Sometimes they are the more subtle tones coming from friends and family.

It was during one of these moments of flagging confidence in our choices that I turned to the groom-to-be and asked him what it was he wanted from his wedding.  Did he want a photobooth? Does he feel we needed to provide additional entertainment for our breakfast feast?

He, being the sweetheart he was, said he just wanted a simple ceremony and a reception that allows him to socialize with his friends and family.  Luckily, we were on the same page. That simple concept is how we designed our morning ceremony (9 a.m.) and pancake reception.

A lesson I have learned is that there is no wrong way to plan a wedding.  Different, yes. Wrong, no.   Keep what you want. Toss out what you don't. But mostly, don't compare your weddings to other people's - for each is decorated a bit differently, but the core is the same. Success and special.

I love that every wedding is different and comes from an authentic part of the partnership that we as guests are there to celebrate.  It doesn't matter if the budget was under $100 or over $30,000 -- each one has a sentimental value that is priceless -- for the couple and the people who love them.  From seated dinners to pancake feeds, people have gathered to share and celebrate the love of two people.

In another post, the author mentioned that "Your wedding is not a race, and there's no need to win — the only prize you need is the commitment of your partner (aww) and you get that regardless of how far you chose to walk off the beaten aisle."

Cheers to the wedding season and the marching to your own beat to the altar.






Saturday, March 16, 2013

DIY: Wedding Table Runners

Photo Courtesy: Project Wedding
"Runners" was one of those words I had to research as to what their purpose for a wedding was and then determine if it was something we needed to add to our list of to-dos.

In short, a table runner is a long, narrow piece of fabric that runs the length of the table in the center.  They add a bit of style to the table and add to the definition of the theme by incorporating the wedding colors.  Often, the fabric is organza, tulle, burlap or satin.  More often than not, they are pops of colors against a white or another solid-colored tablecloth.

A new trend in this table decor is to use common household items like wood, lace, doilies or even pages from books glued together for the runner.

Mike and I decided to use the tables and tablecloths provided by the venue, which means all white tables.  The idea of a pop of color here and there appeal to us, but we were not fans of the "solid color trends".   So, we decided to pick our own fabric and make the table runners ourselves.

While we were thinking we were on the road to originality, I discovered a blog that said "prints charming" is the "latest craze to take the wedding world by storm".  And this wasn't the only one to proclaim 2013 as the year in print. These "year in a nutshell" blogs and posts from wedding experts, event planners and even decor specialists highlighted a lot of things in our wedding - including, doughnuts, the color mint and a non-white gown.  I realized that if I read enough of them, every wedding personifies what's hot in 2013.  They're not an accurate gauge of what you should do but rather a reminder that a wedding is a wedding.  (Note: I have for the most part weened myself off the wedding blogs, etc. Too much info and not enough influence in our decisions.)

So, armed with that tidbit of  information, we went fabric shopping.  While we tried to stick with one color-ish theme, we picked up fabric that pleased us or made us smile. This was the easy part.

Since we have 12 five-foot round tables for our reception, I cut each 7-foot length of fabric into thirds length-wise (makes about a foot wide runner with some extra for the hem).

Using an iron, I folded over the edges to form a double hem.  Over the course of a couple of weekends (in between Canucks games), I stitched each side of the seven-foot long runners.  Nothing fancy.

While I am awfully proud of them, I know they are far from perfect. I'm hoping what they lack in appearance they make up with in charm.  It was an easy project that shows a lot of our personality. So, while they may add pops of color to the tables -- I'm hoping they are a reflection of the bride and groom and not just another runner.

Resources:

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Program? We don't need no **CENSORED** programs! Or do we?

I'll be honest with you.  My first thought was to skip the whole wedding program thing.  To me, it sounded like a whole lot of work to tell guests that they are at a wedding. Plus, a co-worker of mine said she made some beautiful, but intricately designed programs, for her wedding a few years ago and she left the venue with about 80 percent of them.

And then I read some wedding blogs (bad Weegee!) which pointed out the benefits of distributing these handy dandy guides for the big day.  Some of these benefits include highlighting the members of the wedding party, anything unusual about the ceremony and giving some props to vendors.  It helped solidify why programs were usually necessary -- but didn't seal the deal as to why we should implement this handy tool when it came time for us to exchange vows.

It wasn't until I found one couple's "So, You're Going To Sit Through A Wedding" program on one of my favorite blog sites, OffBeatBride.com.  This program was a handcrafted pamphlet that resembles a three-fold brochure you would find on the tourism rack of the hotel. It highlighted all the quirky bits of their wedding, such as how to use the photo booth and why clinking glasses to get the newlywedded couple to kiss isn't a good idea for anyone involved.

diy program - wedding program - so you're attending a wedding
Front
What I liked about this design is that it doesn't follow the "flowers and lace" typical program.  The design allows for each person to inject personality and tone while communicating what makes their wedding different.   It offers the chance to further ones branding of the wedding. 

The blog posting got my creative juices flowing and I decided to design a program loosely on this model -- just to show Mike and gather his thoughts.  As I was pulling together "questions" and "answers" for the FAQ -- I realized two things.

1) Our wedding does have some special aspects. Since we don't have a wedding party, a guide may be helpful for navigating our non-traditional shindig. We aren't going the dinner and dancing route and it may be somewhat beneficial to communicate a few things such as the cake doughnut bar or the old western schoolroom with children activities nestled inside. 

Inside View
2) I had an awfully good time creating the program. It was laying out our wedding in an easy to read format.  It gave me a chance to talk about the inspiration behind our artist canvas guest book (more to come in a later post) and the meaning behind the Trivia Pursuit cards.  I was able to expand upon why we went with an early morning wedding and how come pancakes became the reception meal of choice.

I did alter the example a bit. While the interior of the pamphlet contains the "FAQs", the exterior highlights the vendors, the immediate family, our officiant and a special thank you to the guests -- turning the card stock into a true three-fold brochure for our pancake breakfast shindig.


Front/Back/Inside Flap
Since this was made on our computer, we did a small batch "print" of the programs, folding them while watching our favorite hockey team on the ice! Wedding crafting and couple bonding while hooting and hollering. It doesn't get any better than that.

While I had stolen the idea from another couple or blog post -- seeing the format highlighted on HuffingtonPost as "Best Program Ever" today sort of stole the breeze out of my sails. But not enough to put the kibosh on it.  For each wedding is different -- and thus, so are the programs.

Monday, March 11, 2013

The Big 4-0: Forty Days to Our Wedding

There were two events that brought home how soon our upcoming wedding was and how much we still had to accomplish -- even for the simple, low-key affair we had planned.

The first was an email from Mike's mother regarding where we stood with the Welcome Shindig scheduled for the night before.  She said the last she heard we were contemplating the menu at the hotel and working on a budget.  Unfortunately, I reported that no progress had been made. 

The second was a discussion between Mike and I that went something like this:

Mike: "Well, other than writing our vows, we shouldn't have much left to do."

To which I smiled and pulled out THE NOTEBOOK with two full pages of items that still needed some attention, such as: welcome packages, finalize and printing programs, creating the iPod dance list, a shot list for the photog, menu options for the Welcome Shindig and finding something for him to wear for the big day.

Needless to say, neither one of us were smiling by the time I ran through the checklist. In fact, the two of us were left feeling a bit overwhelmed and . . . panicky may be the best word.  This kitchen pow-wow during breakfast in the end helped out greatly.   It also helped us put the whole event planning into perspective.

1) Together
For the past eight months, we have slowly accumulated boxes of wedding stuff.  For the most part, I have done a lot of the design work solo -- mostly due to my flexible work schedule.  However, it has been a partnership through out most of the process. While I was stitching runners together, Mike was painting flowers on the pots for the herb centerpieces. We still have a ways to go -- but the checklist is helping the two of us know what to do and where to go next.    Together. 

2) It Is What It Is
The two of us will work to accomplish what we can or what is most important.  It helped us weigh and measure each item. Obviously, printing out a banner for the donut table may not rank as high as finding the groom something to wear for the ceremony. We will do what we can and live without some of the details we may have discussed as "that's neat." There is nothing that we "have to have" . . . well, other than clothes for Mike.

As we enter into the final forty days before our wedding, I feel a sense of "wedding zen." We're communicating and functioning as a family unit -- which is really what the engagement process is really about.  That and the power of pancakes did a lot to sooth our planning jitters.





Friday, March 1, 2013

Saying "I Do" in Our Words

When we sat down with our dear friend and officiant of our upcoming wedding, Lisa Morrison, she mentioned that we should consider writing our own vows.  I remember at the time thinking that was an excellent idea. I didn't realize what we were actually signing ourselves up for or what it would actually take to accomplish this task.

And we aren't alone. According to one post on Wedding Wire, an officiant said "100% of couples tell me they are writing their own vows. Less than 3% actually do. Out of those one froze and could not speak, one was very nice and the last was a story that went on and on and on."

A couple of our friends tied-the-knot in a beautiful ceremony last December.  About a month after the event, we asked them about their vows.  The newlywedded bride said that they had written their own vows, but she "chickened out the day before and we just went with what the officiant said." 

Writing your own vows is a daunting thing. It opens your relationship to everyone in attendance and shines a spotlight onto a very personal aspect of your relationship -- your love for your partner.  It's a part that people, up until this moment, have only glimpsed in a glance the two of you shared or maybe the way you hold hands while watching the news.

Mike and I are introverts who shy away from taking center stage and the idea of opening our relationship up to our parents, cousins and friends from work puts a nice anxiety knot in my stomach.

However, after reading forum posts, blogs, websites and books dedicated to the touchy subject of vows,  I think we should write our own vows.  Here's why:

1) The age of technology has given us the opportunity to share, copy and paste and interact about something that, in my opinion, is very personal. I saw so many posts where someone wrote "I like that. I'm going to use it."  Use someone else's words? I don't think I would feel comfortable using someone else's words or expressions or phrasing.  It's going to mean more to me to use my own words.

2) It comes down to what I think would make me "feel married".  At the end of the big day, I want to know that I told Mike how I feel, my promises and declaration in my own words. That will make the our commitment to each other seem that more real. I will at that point feel like we were in the ceremony, shared what was in our hearts and have been incorporated into one another's life.

Don't get me wrong. If repeating the traditional vows or the ones your officiant supplies makes you "feel married", that's awesome.  If you find inspiration on the web to kick your own vows up a notch, go for it. It's more important that you feel comfortable, are in your element and stating the words that you want to say.  Whatever and however they may be.

For us,  this meant writing our own vows.

Vows, What Are They Anyway?
I am showing my lack of wedding knowledge with this one. I honestly didn't know what wedding vows were.  Was this the "for better or worse" or the history of us? Or is this the love letter I write to him but read in front of everyone while standing in a pretty dress? How is this different from the ring exchange or the declaration? As a bridal newbie, I was lost. Absolutely without a map and up a creek lost. I needed a scarecrow to point this Dorothy in the right direction.

Luckily that guide was found in a "Wedding Ceremony for Dummies"-esque posting on one of my wedding porn sites.  According to the post, the declaration of intent is the "I Do" part of the ceremony where "the couple faces one another, takes hands, and answers some very important questions about marriage."

The vows can either be read by the couple to each other or done as a "repeat after me" with the presiding officiant.   They are the promises each partner in a couple makes to the other.  More traditional vows are the "for better, for worse, for richer or poorer" style.  This is where you make the promises you VOW to keep, hold dear and cherish to your partner.

Ring vows, traditionally done in the "repeat after me style"  is a demonstration of what the ring symbolizes to the marriage, couple, etc.  Often times, it incorporates the lines "with this ring, I thee wed" or "Take this ring as a symbol of my love, etc."

However, as the blogger suggested, often times the vows and declaration get mingled together. You can drop the ring vows and just exchange the bling after the personal vows. Want to skip the declaration? That's awesome. Your day. Your way. It's the Burger King way of weddings. There is no right or wrong.  There's only "your way".

Writing the Vows
There are tons of sites dedicated to sharing vows or with tips for how to get started on writing your promises to your loved one.  These tips range from how you met your partner to what marriage means to you.  They make suggestions on setting a length limit to making sure your sentimental words don't clash with his humorous anecdote. 

These sites can offer more assistance and Googling "vows" will give you enough fudder for inspiration and direction.

But I have often noticed that the hardest part is just starting. So my suggestion is really just basic.  Pick up a pen or open a word document on your computer and start. Start small. Write a few sentences about your partner. Then a bit more. Eventually, you will have a good idea of what it is you want to say or promise to your partner.  And it doesn't have to be long.

My caterer related a story in which the bride and groom wrote their own vows. The bride read hers, which was long, sentimental and spoken from the heart. When it came down to the groom, his nerves won out and all he said was "I love you. I want to marry you." 

In the end, that's what it really is all about anyway right?  Find your way to say "I love you. I want to marry you" and that's the key to writing vows.

Resources:
A Practical Wedding: Open Thread: Wedding Vows
Offbeat Bride: Wedding Ceremony 101

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Why I Splurged On Invites

"Go easy on the invite. People read it once and toss it aside, if not in the trash." This was advice from a wedding coordinator but it echos a lot of the advice a bride-to-be will find on forums, blogs or any other wedding-dedicated site.

Even if the above is true, it was not advice I took to heart.

I will admit that invites aren't as sexy as splurging on the photobooth with props or a unique backdrop. They aren't nearly as fun as booking a four-piece rockabilly band for your reception throw down. And, more than likely, they aren't nearly as necessary as the fantastic purple heels with sparkles that spell out "I Do" on the heels. 

I'm not knocking the above as splurges and I applaud anyone who knows exactly what they need to make their big day complete.  However, I believe creating a invite should be just as important as any of the above.

The invite is more than just telling loved ones that your big day is coming and that their presence is requested at the celebration.  While it is a useful tool for communicating the pertinent information like the key players, date, location, time and type of wedding -- there is a bigger purpose.

Your invite is an announcement of the birth of a new family unit - the one between you and your partner (and children if applicable).  It is more than the day you got married -- but the day you started your marriage and new family. 
It's also the first impression that friends and family have of you and your partner as a couple -- and, in some cases, the first impression loved ones have of your partner if they have not previously met.  This is an introduction -- a grand entrance, if you will. 

It also communicates to your guests the mood of the wedding and what they can expect.  Think of it as your promotional campaign for your wedding -- promoting your big day and the following bash.  Is it a tropical-themed luau? Is it a three-course sit down reception? Should they be prepared for an outdoor ceremony in the middle of July? Is it a wedding weekend or a casual cake and champagne reception?  Casual or traditional, big or small event, the invite gives your guests a sneak peek on what they can expect from your wedding so they can plan accordingly. But more than that, it will get them excited about your marriage start!

An invite also lets the guest know what is required of them -- time and commitment wise.  Are there events booked for the entire weekend? Is it just a cocktail reception? Is there a welcome dinner for out of town guests? When should they arrive in town? How long should they stay?  Is it formal? Is it casual? Do they need their own picnic blanket? Take the guess work out of the equation and tell them what you have planned, what is optional and what they should wear to either one.
Taking the time to create a unique and very personalized invite, whether you whether you order one online or do-it-yourself with stamps, ribbons, rhinestones and cardstock, makes it SOMETHING SPECIAL to your guests.  

Think about when you have received homemade granola or a hand-crafted holiday card.  Someone took the time to work their creative side in order to give you something very personal.  It becomes an extension of them -- a personal connection to you.

Invest a bit in your invite.  Use your own words to create the text on the invite.  Go beyond just choosing a card stock in your color or selecting one of the available fonts.  Insert a bit of yourself into the invite -- more than just the name, date, location.  Own your invites.

Your guests will notice.  It will become an extension of you delivered into their inbox or mailbox.  It is a detail that will make them feel honored, special and it will become more of a momento and less of just "another invite." 

Break the mold. Get creative. It's worth it.







Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Sending Out Invites: "This is Real Moment"

DIY Wedding Invites - Wedding Announcements
One of the most important aspects of a wedding is the invite.  Whether it is a small gathering for a courthouse ceremony or an extended list for a backyard blowout shindig, it is important to invite loved ones to your event (note: an elopement is slightly different, but its still important that the key people show up). 

Whether you send it via the Internet or snail mail, there is a lot of work and planning that goes into the invite. For months we have been making plans, jotting down ideas in a spiral notebook and talking over the finer points with our parents. 

It was no wonder that I had a slight moment of panic when it finally came to mailing the handcrafted invites.

My partner and I finalized the look of the invites a few months ago, but needed to wait on a few key details before printing and assembling them. Our goal was to get them out by the end of January for our April wedding.  However, the new year meant people were looking at their calendars, asking for time off from employers and looking to make solid plans for our wedding.  We started getting information requests the first week of January and knew we needed to push forward the standard six to eight weeks before invite deadline to more like mid-January.

For about twelve days, we worked on finalizing the details, doing a mock up, changing this or adding that and building out our website so it had additional information.  While the invite may be a bit over the top, the two of us felt we had invitations that were a reflection of us and that we had fun designing.

After all of the invites had been created, stuffed into envelopes, sealed and addressed, I headed down to the local post office for the final step - mailing the invite. 

It was while I was applying the stamps to the mountain of envelopes at one of the counters that the gravity of the situation hit me. 

Sending out the invites was kicking off our wedding. This was the kick-start to our big day. This was the first impression of us as a couple, of our non-traditional event (breakfast wedding) and opening the door for others to accept or decline. This was the first time that people outside the intimate circle was going to see our vision.

But it was also more than that.  It was a "this just got real" moment for me. I was no longer planning or dreaming of what could be.  The items we had scribbled into our spiral was coming to fruition.  It was happening.  It would no longer just be me and my partner.  This was the first step into announcing the birth of our family unit.  This was us announcing to the world the beginning of our married life.

"Are these ready to go?" The girl helping me behind the counter asked as I stood staring at the stack of stamped kraft brown envelopes, each with a different family or friend's address. After a moment, I told her they were in fact ready and watched as she loaded each one into the plastic bins.   I knew it was time to let go of what was "ours" and invite others to share our new unit.

While it was a huge "check" off our wedding to-do list, it also felt like the kick start to our marriage. 

Couple of Lessons We Learned:
  • People start making vacation plans right after New Years. Even if you don't have anything finalized, consider having your Save the Dates ready to go after Christmas. Get on people's calendars and radars.
  • Consider sending an email to those living outside the state ahead to give them a heads up if you can't get the invite out right away
  • Take your invite mock to the post office to make sure it will be easy to send or trouble shoot any issues before assembling them all.  May save you some $$ on postage.


Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Aspiration vs. Inspiration: Tap Into Your Creativity This Wedding

While browsing wedding blogs and websites,  I often come across comments or forum topics where people are asking for the template for banners, programs, menus . . .you name it.  While I know that not everyone has access to Photoshop or is handy enough with scissors to cut perfect circles, I find this a bit disheartening.

I don't think weddings should be cookie cut or designed by templates.  I think websites shouldn't be used as a "how-to" guide but rather as a "fodder for future thought" bucket.

Aspiration is defined as a goal or a strong desire for achievement.  Used in context with planning a wedding, these is the eye candy you find in magazines, blogs, "real wedding" photos and idea forums.  This is what causes the "oh, pretty!" phrase to tumble from our lips.  This is what causes us to "pin it" to a board or clip it and paste it in our binders as another "must-have" for our big days.

But don't confuse this with inspiration.  Inspiration is something that generates an idea or sparks a creative slant to your project.  Inspiration can be found on those same blogs, magazines and forums.  However, it isn't the act of finding them but what happens when those images or DIY projects have time to incubate in your mind.

Every new idea is a mashup of one or more ideas.  An each idea, picture, project or decorating concept is a remix of everything you have chosen to let into your life.  As stated in the book "Steal Like an Artist" by Austin Kleon, "you can pick the music you listen to and you can pick the books you read and you can pick the movies you see . . . you are the sum of your influences."

Read the blogs, study the wedding magazines and scour through the endless forums on wedding websites.  As Kleon said, "your job is to collect good ideas.  The more good ideas you collect, the more you can choose from to be influenced by."

Then, it is necessary to let the dust settle. Step away from the influences and wedding input to allow your mind to work the ideas like a Rubix cube, flipping ideas this way and that way in an attempt to find what works for you.

Use the aspirations to add to your influences and then use the influences to inspire your creativity when it comes to reception decor or the perfect gown.  This will help you envision the wedding day of your dreams, and not the vision of the wedding industry, friends or a forum poster.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Double-Digits to the Big Day: When I Realized I Was Getting Married

One of the cons to having a countdown clock to the big day on your wedding website is that you know how far away it is until you say "I Do." 

For months, the number was in the hundreds. It felt like we were crawling towards our wedding.  The day seemed like some far off date and it was never going to get here. 

And, then it displayed "99" and the reality of our approaching wedding hit me.  We were in the double-digits and "this close" to being married. I'm getting married!

I felt a surge of what I initially thought was panic. My extremely long list of still "to-dos" popped into my head along with the items that we still have yet to work out.  But this was just a flash in a pan. A small twinge of feeling overwhelmed before the excitement quickly snipped it in the bud.

I wasn't concerned about the wedding or what needed to be done.  For me, it was a countdown to starting a married life with my partner.  In less than 100 days, I was going to make vows for the rest of my life with someone I considered my partner.  I was going to be a wife.

For me,I think the end goal of a married life was hidden from view behind designs of invites and centerpiece decisions.  Maybe it's what can be labeled as "wedding zen" or learning the true meaning of marriage.   But I feel that I am counting down towards more than a party but a new beginning.

I'm getting married.







Wednesday, January 9, 2013

To Give or Not to Give -- The Hot Debate Over Wedding Favors

During a meeting in Boise, our caterer (who has a bit of wedding coordination experience) asked the groom and I if we had thought about favors.

After a bit of stammering on my part, I finally confessed that favors were probably not going to make an appearance at our shindig for it is my believe that the whole favor thing is nothing but . . . a racket. 

That's right. I said the "r" word.  I have said this word often during my wedding planning for I feel that adding the "w" word to the event actually is nothing more than asking the vendor, company, shop or crafter to "please add money to my bottom line."

Favors is a hotly contested wedding topic.  Many people, websites, blogs and wedding personnel feel that favors are a reception "must have" for it is seen as a "thank you for coming" gesture.  To the point, that I have even heard it mentioned that the happily married couple will appear "cheap" if they fail to offer these take home goodies.

The members of the other side of the favor coin believe this is an extravagance that our overly cluttered culture could use a break from. To the extreme, some brides feel that there is no need for an added "thank you" after they have shelled out top dollar for food, drink and dancing.

Personally, I would be for favors if there was an absolutely brilliant idea on how to appeal to every age range or stage of life.  Other than the parents of the bride and groom, most people don't have a need for monogrammed dove salt and pepper shakers or the flip-flop bottle opener.  While they are happy to take part in your special day, they don't need a photo frame with the date and your name engraved on it to add to their mantel.  What about the teenagers or children attending your wedding? Do they really need the personalized pancake flipper?

The argument for this is to offer what I lovingly call the Sugar Bomb. This is the parting gift of a sweet treat for the road home, ranging from pretty packets of Jordan Almonds to the do-it-yourself candy bar (Personal Soap Box: step away from this trend and run the other direction as fast as you can in your cute kitten heels!). This extra dose of sweetness will last all of two minutes and does little more than add to the daily calorie count. Plus, what do you offer for those who are diabetic? Or those who are allergic to nuts? Personally, its too much for me to think about.

According to my caterer, "if you are planning to do favors, decided how many you need and do a 1/4 of that. If they want them, they are there. If not or they run out, at least they won't be left on the tables for cleanup crews."  

That's where the heart of my dislike for favors truly lies -- the absolute waste of product, money and time.  Those beautiful organza bags you spent big money on to add personal labels, if you are lucky, will be coming home with you.  The carefully crafted cupcakes in a jar will be left on the table and the customized "seeds of love" will lay untouched. 

However, there is hope.

According to "Bargainsita Bride - Your Dream Wedding For Less" by Aimee Manis, weddings are becoming more of a reflection of the couple, their personalities and their values.  This is being demonstrated in the ceremony decorations, reception center pieces and the personal touch that comes from the general tone of the event.

As the wedding trend shifts from the bold excess and extravagant affairs to the simple, authentic wedding, there are new avenues of offering "favors" to your guests.  The potted plants you are using for a centerpiece can go home with guests to plant in their gardens.  Making your own runners? Perhaps your aunts or cousins who host waffle parties or Thanksgiving would love to add them to their decoration bins.  Or, better yet, if you have a quilter in the family, donate the runners to their fabric stashes. 

This is a green way of "reusing" the decor from your big day that will contribute to the lives of your guests.  It will be that much more special, will help eliminate the favor waste and it won't take any more extra time to make since it is already on your to-do list.

But, if you are like me, it may be useful to see the words in large, bold print. FAVORS ARE NOT A MUST-HAVE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE FAVORS. You're guests won't miss it and everyone will enjoy the wedding -- for it is your day, a reflection of you and, in the end, that's what matters.

I'm not giving favors and I am pleased as spiked punch about it.