The Slope Into Marriage

Getting hitched, tying the knot or taking the plunge is no longer the biggest step towards a united life with your significant other.  It is no longer a cannonball dive into the deep end of marriage that it once was; but rather a gentle slope in the winding road of relationships. 

I was watching an episode from the second season of “Bridezilla” (don’t judge) that highlighted my views on this incline.  One of the brides, Noelle, was saying that the groom-to-be and her had picked the date and location before the question was formally posed.  It was more of a discussion of their future together rather than a complete change of their circumstances. 

My fiancé and I had a similar and yet different situation.  The two of us were friends that discovered we had more than just “let’s grab a beer” thoughts about one another.   One night, the guy I classified as a friend who I really liked broke the news to me that he was thinking about leaving Portland, Oregon to pursue a career in Vancouver, Canada.  While not a world away, I could only think about how empty my world would be without him.  

When he asked me what I thought, I was torn between being the supportive friend and letting someone who was more important to me than I care to admit to even myself know that it was killing me to see him go.  No one was more surprised than I was when the latter came out of my mouth.  It was then that he told me that I was under the wrong impression – he wanted me to go with him.

My choice to pack up my belongings, move in with him and relocate to a foreign country was probably the biggest defining moment in our relationship.  From there, we have been on a steady course to the altar and a life together with milestones to indicate how far we’ve traveled and the direction we are heading.  

While I know that there are couples who don’t move in with the significant other until after the big day or perhaps have a slightly smoother ride, I think the relationship map is changing.  It is something that shifts for the parties involved. It is a “Choose Your Own Adventure” to the altar that can be more traditional, but more often than not opens the door to a unique course for those involved.

Over a year later,  the two of us are preparing for the next milestone which includes a trip to the altar but it doesn’t feel scary or even like we are taking the plunge into something unknown. For me, it feels like another highpoint on a very scenic road trip with a very close friend.